Daylight Savings (all the) Time

It is the time of year when I have to throw away the makeup I bought during the summer to better blend with my tan because I am now, once again, back to being as pale as a whale’s underbelly.

In other words, winter is upon us.

The days are shorter, the air is crisper and the lonely nights just got a little lonelier.  
The only thing worse than winter itself is having to wave goodbye to Daylight Savings Time, as though it is a lover insisting upon a 6-month restraining order (a feeling I know all too well).

The excitement of having that extra hour at 2 a.m. in which to do whatever I please always wears off so quickly, leaving only the reality of sunlight slipping away every evening at 5 p.m. as I walk home, making me more susceptible than ever to rapists and other violent figures who lurk behind shaded alleyways and shrubbery. (But at least for the next two weeks I can continue to justify every wasted hour by the remembrance of that extra hour gained.)  

I just don’t understand why we can’t observe Daylight Savings Time all year round. I have no use for sunlight in the mornings. I even go to great lengths to block it out of my bedroom with a brown curtain as thick as steel, so I’d be just as happy to save up my sunlight for later at night. But, unfortunately, this apparently isn’t about what I want.

Farmers generally oppose Daylight Savings, preferring bright mornings and dark nights. This is because grain harvesting is best done after dew evaporates, so the labor of field hands is less valuable when they arrive and leave earlier in the summer.

But what these farmers have failed to consider is the harvest that grows deep within the human heart and the dew of depression that crusts over it during periods of darkness, forming a thick blanket of negativity over an otherwise hopeful spirit.  

What I’m saying is that people become depressed when they don’t get enough sunlight. Depression leads to suicide, and suicide is not good for anyone, farmers included.

Daylight Savings Time began in the United States during World War I, primarily to save fuel by reducing the need to use artificial lighting. It was not commonly used between the wars, but was observed nationally again during World War II.

America was really on to something. Like I said, people generally feel happier when the sun is bright and shiny. So not only does Daylight Savings cut down on the use of actual fuel, but it also cuts down on the unhappiness in our hearts that fuels wars in the first place.

Less war should be a pretty convincing argument for year-round Daylight Savings, as should the decrease in pedestrians getting hit by buses, walking into lampposts and falling into manholes.

So write to your Congress person and cite these reasons I have given you. Maybe, just maybe, we can live to see a day when it is Daylight Savings Time all the time.