Why Batman should move

As much as I wish superheroes were real, I’m extremely thankful that the cities they call home aren’t.

Gotham City, also known as “Evil Chicago,” is home to not only Batman, but a list of villains longer than the Bush Administration’s list of “suspected terrorists.”

Denizens of the city have to deal with daily bank robbings, criminal psychopaths who seem to have all taken high school drama classes and a man who dresses like a bat who will punch you in the face if you litter. It isn’t easy living in Gotham.

By contrast, Metropolis, home to Superman, is a wonderful city that practically provides rainbows on tap as part of the public utilities. Sure, there might be the giant meteor or death robot stomping through Main Street, but the Man of Steel is on the scene rather quickly and deals with the threat as casually as taking out the garbage. There is never a crisis in Metropolis, only interesting events to tell the kids about casually at the dinner table.

I’m not going to try and wrap my mind around why Superman doesn’t take a day off, fly over to Gotham and round up every single one of Batman’s rogues. Likewise, Batman would have no problem cutting through Lex Luthor’s bureaucratic shields and dangling him upside down from a rooftop screaming something like a singer for a death metal band.

The answer is simple: Each of these heroes’ cities provide a challenge worthy of their skills and abilities. This is a key part of creating a compelling story.

But let’s look again at those who aren’t billionaire playboys who also know 56 ways to dislocate an arm. I’ve never understood why someone would want to live in the cesspool that is Gotham while Metropolis gleams as a golden city on a hill.

This is a perfect example for why we stay in any unhealthy environment: fear of changing to something unfamiliar. For those born in Gotham, they know only that urban decay as a possible life. They have no idea it’s not normal to be kidnapped by a clown.

It takes courage to make the decision to stand up against injustice, but one can choose to stay and fight like Batman or run for somewhere better like anyone else probably should. We glorify Bruce Wayne for sacrificing himself to save Gotham, but there’s never been proof he has actually changed the city for the better. He might stop Mr. Freeze from flooding the city in nitroglycerin, but there will be another rogue waiting for Batman immediately afterwards – and Arkham Asylum seems to have a bad habit of losing criminals.

Look at Harvey Dent, a man who followed the same basic path as Batman, but eventually succumbs to the city and is lost. Like it was mentioned in the movie “Batman Begins,” maybe it is best to let the city burn only to restart anew. It also could be the city never improves because then DC Comics, the company that owns Batman, wouldn’t be able to sell six Batman comic books a month.