Silver bubble

A couple weeks ago I turned on my television just in time to hear Oprah telling a heartwarming tale about the day she decided she wanted to blow some bubbles. After having that thought, she found six bottles of bubbles and a silver bubble blower from Tiffany’s sitting on her desk. Amazed, she asked her assistant about it. Her assistant said she put them there weeks ago, and Oprah just hadn’t noticed them until now. Then Oprah said, “Wow! Here I was thinking a thought I’d never had before about wanting to blow bubbles, and they had been there all along, but I didn’t see them until I had that desire! That’s no coincidence!”\nOf course not. According to Oprah and one of her favorite books, “The Secret,” nothing is a coincidence. Anything you visualize will become yours. Positive thoughts will attract positive outcomes and the same for negative thoughts. It’s all about what kind of energy you’re sending out into the universe.\nSo I tried it. I envisioned having mail while walking to my mailbox. When I opened it, I had a credit card offer and an advertisement from Bradford Place. I was totally freaked out.\nThe next day I was sitting in a lecture hall waiting for my class to begin, and I wished that I had remembered to pick up a copy of the IDS. Suddenly I felt something sliding beneath my feet. When I looked down, I saw that someone had left a paper there. It was as if the universe knew I would want one!\nOn Valentine’s Day I sat alone in my apartment, wishing to be swept off my feet by a handsome and mysterious stranger. Suddenly there was a knock at my door. My heart raced as I got up to open it. When I did, a bearded midget walked in with a hose and a can of poison. “Pest Control!” he shouted, spraying me with his spit. I guess my thoughts and the universe had a miscommunication.\nAlso during this episode, Oprah discussed the importance of creating a “Vision Board,” which is a poster where you put pictures of all the things you want and look at it every day until the sky opens up and stuff rains down on you from the heavens. A woman in the audience said she had put a picture of an expensive stove on her Vision Board, and through an unusual series of events, came to own that very stove.\nSo I constructed a Vision Board with pictures of all the material possessions that could bring me lasting happiness: Girl Scout Cookies, TiVo, naked male models, the complete third season of The Hills on DVD and some Space Saver vacuum bags that I saw on an infomercial. \nThe world could use more optimists like Oprah and I and less pessimists who cause wars, plagues and other tragedies by not thinking happy thoughts. The universe pre-ordered Oprah a silver bubble blower from Tiffany’s, and you can bet that the universe will meet you on your spiritual level as well.