Fab Four fans

If you’re trying to get to know someone, either at a bar or because you’re forced to do so on the first day of lecture, one of the inevitable questions you’ll be asked is: Who is your favorite band/artist? And without a doubt, a good number of people will instantly reply, “The Beatles.” And more often than not, I find myself sighing depressingly.\nThere are just some basic facts about life, and one of them is that you can’t be a true Beatles fan just because you own “The Beatles 1” and because you bought a cute Beatles T-shirt from Urban Outfitters. It doesn’t work like that. Any real Beatles fan will tell you that being a Beatles fan requires time, patience, dedication and love. It is, in a sense, a relationship, and way more than a “fanship.” When the Beatles are truly one of your favorite bands, you’re involved. And unfortunately, there are many fakers in our midst.\nWhy are the Beatles such a popular answer to the “favorite band” question? It’s simple enough. Everyone has heard of them, and you won’t be made fun of by liking them the way you might if you answered “Linkin Park” or “Rihanna.” The Beatles pretty much epitomize the music canon of the past century. While you definitely won’t be made fun of if you answer this, the person will nod and say, “Of course, that’s everyone’s answer.” And there’s nothing that boils my blood more than what this implies. Because while it might be everyone’s answer, I actually am a Beatles fan.\nThe true Beatles fans, who own all of their albums and the B-sides (“You Know My Name – Look up the Number” anyone?), have to deal with these fakes all the time, and it grows tiring. We all enjoy a good “Twist and Shout” and “Hey Jude,” but that doesn’t make one a fan. Everyone has heard those songs on the radio, and everyone likes them. So this means nothing about your fanship. The Beatles music doesn’t just fall into neat, little, digestible categories. They have their pop stage, their psychedelic stage and then their we’re-too-amazing-to-be-true stage. And until you’ve experienced them all, you can’t call yourself a real mop-top lover.\nPerhaps one of the more disturbing recent trends, even more frightening than the fake fan, is the pretentious modern musician. These horrible people actually dislike the Fab Four. I know, I know. It doesn’t seem fathomable. To dislike the Beatles is to repress part of the very stuff that makes you a human. To these people I say that yes, we fans understand that music has progressed since the 1960s. But to say the foundation has no real place, no real musical power, is just silly. It’s just a different style of music. And early rock, for lack of a better term, rocks. Where would music be today without the Beatles? I shudder at the thought.\nBut perhaps one of the most important things to take away from the Beatles is their message. No, not the secret messages that “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” might hint to us through its acronym. I’m talking about the messages of love and peace. So to both of these groups of people, the fake-fans and the non-fans, I say to you one thing: “We can work it out.”\nThe solution might just lie in one of the greatest classes to ever exist in this universe: the Beatles class that Andy Hollinden and Glenn Gass teach. I recommend the class to anyone, and I guarantee you will learn more than you could ever dream of. It can transform the average admirer into a knowledgeable, legitimate fan. It can turn even those pretentious music-heads into fans, if they let go of their excessive pride for just a moment. So thank you Andy and Glenn for all that you do and for your magnificent classes. Because this girl, she loves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.