Three strikes

TV has officially struck out. \nWith the writers strike screwing the few well-written shows on television, we have hit the point where most shows have run out of scripts. Instead of reaching an agreement and ending this debacle, the major stations have decided to air new reality shows instead.\nThese shows have been awful, and three examples show how the TV stations have struck out.\nTake, for instance, “True Life” on MTV. As I flipped through the channels in my loft Tuesday night, I saw a girl scream obscenities at her grandmother. \nNo, I didn’t come across “Cops.” This girl had all her teeth. Instead, I saw the “True Life” episode called “I have Tourette’s.”\nDespite what movies like “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo” and shows like “South Park” have led everyone to believe, Tourette’s does not merely involve a person screaming obscenities. Rather, it is a very painful, terrible disease that affects all who have it. This girl on “True Life” was in so much pain after performing in her school play that she was lying on the ground wailing.\nAre these the ground-breaking ideas stations are coming up with because they’re too greedy to cough up some money for the writers? Have we stooped to the level of trying to elicit entertainment from a disease that is already the butt of many jokes? Strike one.\nAnother example of TV’s struggles occurred Monday night. It was week two of the highly anticipated “American Gladiators.” I know the writers are still on strike, but some idiot scripted all the lines in this show. It’s so blatantly obvious these competitors have memorized lines that it’s painful to watch. \nI wish there were more hitting and physical competing and less stupid comments from gladiators like Wolfman. This show has potential, but it’s going to bomb faster than Paris Hilton’s singing career. The only reason people have been watching it is to relive the glory days, but it won’t take long for that to wear off. Strike two.\nIf you haven’t had your fix of reality shows, then there are plenty of game shows to fill your television appetite. \nThere are new singing, dancing and game shows that air during prime time every night and are actually gaining viewership. \nFor instance, “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” is popular. My question is: Why? Host Jeff Foxworthy isn’t even as smart as a first grader. Everyone on the show is at least 20 years removed from fifth grade, insuring that they will bomb the questions and look like fools.\nAre people so desperate for 15 minutes of fame that they will subject themselves to such humiliation? Strike three. You’re out. It’s time for the seventh-inning stretch.\nEither way, I’m getting fed up with this strike. My TV hasn’t changed from TBS’ syndicated old sitcoms because there is absolutely nothing to watch. Once I lose “Friday Night Lights” to the strike, I am going to take action. I’m going to join the Writers Guild of America and cross the picket line to end this mess.\nAnd if that doesn’t work, then I’m going to back to fifth grade to make some serious cash on that show.