Primates are people too

You’ve witnessed them chaining themselves to trees to block the path of an incoming bulldozer. You’ve seen them picketing outside KFC, protesting the “slaughter” of anything that casts a shadow. And by now, you’ve come to the conclusion that environmental advocates are completely and inexcusably insane.\nWhether it’s deserved or not, environmental activists generally get a bad rap. Often seen as the human embodiment of inconvenience, environmentalists are persistent in seeing their goals through to completion. Although for the most part their efforts are commendable, sometimes environmental and animal rights activists go too far, losing sight of their objectives and becoming one among the many “long-haired, leaping tree-hugging hippie types.” Still, tree-hugging ridiculousness usually mirrors the ridiculousness of legal and social status quos, and certain situations merit slightly over-the-top actions. \nSuch is the case in the predicament of a monkey named Hiasl. \nAfter the Austrian wildlife sanctuary where Hiasl lived was shut down, he was abandoned with no financial support for his food and veterinary bills. Although several doctors have volunteered their time and expertise and donors have offered money to help, Austrian law dictates that recipients of personal donations must be people. \nNow here comes the crazy part: to ensure that Hiasl receives the finances necessary for his survival, supporters are seeking to have the 26-year-old chimpanzee legally declared a person – a certified human being – so that he can become his own legal entity and receive donations within the bounds of the law.\nIn order to make their case, animal rights advocates do sound slightly demented. “He has a real personality,” said Eberhart Theuer, a lawyer with the Association Against Animal Factories, a Vienna-based animal rights group. “You just have to look him in the eye to see that.” \nTo ensure the continued well-being of this beloved primate, these animal rights supporters have taken their battle to court. It sounds crazy, but was there really an alternative? I tend to think not, and that any cries of “primates are people too!” that you will hear in the upcoming months are completely justifiable.\nTaking a cue from Three 6 Mafia, let me venture to say that it’s hard out there for an activist. It’s true, the PETA folks you see around campus may go a little too far sometimes, and I’ll confess that we environmental types can be somewhat confrontational, but in cases like this when the bureaucratic red tape gets in the way of making sensible, positive choices, what other options are there? \nJust look around at some of the ludicrous legislative and legal battles going on over obviously poor policies that offer diesel fuel rebates and allow oil companies to drill in wildlife refuges. Why not answer madness with more of the same?\nSo the next time you hear about a tree-sit, don’t immediately dismiss those participating in it as mentally unstable and write off their cause. Drastic situations call for outside-of-the-box measures, and sometimes they are the only way to get things accomplished.