Mad props to Britney

She's outrageous when she's at a party. She's outrageous when she moves her body. She's outrageous in her sexy jeans. She's outrageous when she's on the scene.\nAnd yet Britney Spears was voted worst celebrity role model of the year in an online AP-AOL News poll, beating out Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson for second and third worst celebrity role models, respectively.\nPerhaps an even lower blow, Spears was also voted worst celebrity dog owner of 2006 by the readers of two dog magazines, the New York Dog and the Hollywood Dog. This title was supposedly encouraged by Spears' three Chihuahuas that are suddenly out of the spotlight after her marriage and the births of her two children.\nI'm not going to sit down, relax, stretch my legs and eat mini corn dogs while people out there are unjustly tarnishing the name of a beloved, revolutionary icon. And neither should you.\nSpears is a long-standing victim of negative press, but these official "worst" titles far surpass good-natured trash talking. Many are attacking Britney Spears for her partying antics and potential "unfit mother" status. But it is my duty as a patriotic American to defend her. \nFirst, let's get one thing clear: The term "celebrity role model" is an oxymoron.\nSecond, Chihuahuas are very small. No one can keep track of them. When was the last time you heard anything from the Taco Bell Chihuahua? 1998? They're elusive creatures. There's no need to scoff at a global pop superstar just because her border-hopping pets are stuffed somewhere between a chalupa and an order of Nachos Bellgrande. It's just their nature.\nBritney-bashers should be ashamed. Instead of criticizing Britney, we should be thanking her for her contributions to American pop culture.\nDivorce, babies, missing Chihuahuas, missing undergarments -- who cares? Britney set the standard for the quintessential sexually frustrated school girl in a miniskirt. And that's a gift we can never repay her for.\nWhen you see someone in knee-high socks, pigtails and a provocatively knotted button-down shirt, even if it's a dude in drag, your first thought will always be, "Oh, baby, baby, how was I supposed to know?"\nCan you imagine 1999 without "Baby One More Time"? I don't even want to try. Britney was at the helm of the pop revival at the turn of the millennium.\nEveryone is indebted to Ms. Spears. None of us were sure when it was appropriate to wear a shiny, red jumpsuit. Britney showed us how with "Oops! I Did It Again."\nWe were plagued with questions like "Can anyone besides Superman wear underwear on the outside of his pants?" We knew the answer was yes when we saw Britney's "I'm a Slave 4 U" video.\nWhen we, as a nation, were too afraid to dance with an albino python draped over our shoulders, Britney did it for us.\nI may be the first to say it, but I hope I'm not the last. Thank you, Britney Spears.