Adam who?

It's official. Adam Herbert announced Friday that he will leave his post as president after his contract expires in 2008. The end of an era will soon be upon us as Herbert is self-expelled from office and dwindles into oblivion. Some will cry at the loss, some will smile and after many months of criticism and surrounding turmoil, there is really only one question on the minds of many IU students ...\nWho the hell is Adam Herbert? \nAnd furthermore, just what is he president of?\nAnd so I began to search for this man, somewhere, anywhere, in the realm of social, political or pop culture. I typed the name "Herbert" into Google and came up with some interesting results. Of course, I found several Web pages about Herbert Hoover and was quite excited at my progress until I realized that Herbert was this man's first name, and my heart fell at the epiphany. My spirits rose and crashed again at the name of Johnny Herbert, the British Formula 1 race-car driver who's first name is, alas, not Adam. So I decided to refine my search (being the fine student of higher education that I am) to "Adam Herbert." I was absolutely astounded at my results.\nApparently Adam Herbert has something to do with IU. In fact, he is evidently the PRESIDENT of IU. I quickly ran back to the lab to analyze my data (also the commercials were almost over and I had precious little time if I were to discover what crazy trouble Gilligan was going to cause this time).\nAfter careful study, I finally was able to reach some conclusions about the nature of this Herbert fellow. (If at this point you are still reading this column, I strongly urge you to put down the newspaper, pick up one of your fairly expensive textbooks and read about someone you actually care to know about.) According to the Office of the President's link at the IU home page, Herbert has held many positions at a multitude of nationally renowned universities. Also, he has spent much of his tenure at IU placing a "strong emphasis on the quality of undergraduate education".\nHowever, probably the most interesting thing I can tell you about our president (I would say esteemed, but apparently some people don't like him and even want him to be reviewed or something like that) is that many students at IU know more about Emilio Estevez's relationship with Charlie Sheen than they know about the policies and goals Adam Herbert has implemented. \nSo I took it upon myself, on my very narrow but sturdy shoulders, to discover why the students of IU are so disinterested in the actions of their president. I gathered my research materials: pens, pencils, notebooks, laptop computer, cellular telephone, list of key faculty members, rubber chicken, stopwatch, coffee and calculator. I was ready to begin.\nThen, suddenly, I heard the voice of patriot Sam Adams coming from the general vicinity of my refrigerator and dropped everything to go let him out.