Online Only: Doubleplus ungood untruths

Two weeks ago the ghosts of George Orwell and Josef Stalin appeared in midtown Manhattan. Orwell was carrying a placard that read: "I Told You So," while Stalin's read: "Russia Did It First."\nThe characters in the fictitious scenario above were drawing attention to a rule under consideration by the New York City Board of Health that would allow a citizen born in one of the five boroughs to legally change information on his birth certificate. The New York Times reported that the proposed rule allowing revision of historical documents will likely be adopted soon. \nIn Orwell's "1984," the protagonist is employed by the government's Ministry of Truth. But in the nightmarish novel, the Ministry of Truth is actually a propaganda machine that churns out lies while erasing and eliminating any evidence contrary to its mass-produced deceit. Under Stalin, the USSR dabbled in historical revisionism akin to that in Orwell's dystopia.\nThe puppet-masters in Orwell's hell believed that the revision or elimination of history could change the present. So, too, those in New York City's Ministry of Truth think that the alteration of legal documents will alter reality.\nWhat would anyone want to change on his birth certificate? \nWhy, the "his" part, of course! \nThe proposed rule would allow a person born with testicles to change his birth certificate to indicate that he was actually born with ovaries, and vice versa. NYC's Board of Health would allow a man who thinks he's a woman to revise a legal, historical document to indicate that he really is, and always has been, a woman. \nSuppose Cher, being obsessed with the illusion of her youth, changed her birth certificate to indicate that she had been born in 1977, not 1946. A legal document would then indicate that Cher is 29 years old, contrary to all appearances and the inconvenient truth that she and Sonny hit the big time earlier that decade.\nBut forget the Orwellian-ness of the situation, bending truth to conform to someone's desires. The real issue is the blurring of the very clear distinction between men and women. New York City's Ministry of Truth is just doling out another piece of propaganda to androgynize America.\nGay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender groups will probably slash my tires for pointing this out, but men and women are different. It's a truth that's older than the hills, and a few Orwellian pen strokes on a few pieces of paper can't change it. Reproductive organs produce hormones that control physiological development from the first nine months of life in utero through puberty and adulthood. Even if a doctor removes those organs, their effects are irreversible. Creating a class of androgynoids can't change reality.\nMany people, including professors at IU, would like you to believe that ovaries and testicles are exactly the same. But this is an intellectual Pandora's Box. Once you go against all common sense and accept that there's no difference between men and women, you can be duped into anything. The sky's the limit!\nAnd I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell to you.