May-be over

Now that school's over I've been able to fully invest my time in the entertainment world. And while all Hollywood's happenings might not be worth mentioning (what if I don't want to be on Team Denise or Team Heather?) there have been some pretty big events recently. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the month of May.\nThe summer movie season officially began, but not as studios had hoped. "Mission: Impossible 3" bombed! Ok, a $48 million opening weekend is by no means bad, but a franchise film starring Tom Cruise debuting in over 4,000 theaters could have easily pulled in another $20 mil. For months there's been speculation over whether Tom's recent behavior, mainly alienating his female fans (haha, get it, alien), would affect his box office performance. Sure everyone's sick of his antics, but to the point of boycotting? Despite all his craziness the public is forgetting Tom actually is a great actor (remember "Magnolia" and "Jerry Maguire?"), and unlike most tabloid targets (cough, Jessica Alba, cough) he has the talent to back up his actions. Come on people, threaten a backlash but don't actually follow through with it. Plus there's other people besides Tom who get hurt by this, like director J.J. Abrahams (the man created "Lost," he should never experience pain for the blessing he's given us), Keri Russell (this could cause her to go back into hibernation), and all the other behind the scenes people. And if Tom's movies are failing, does this mean Katie's next movie will only make $4 million instead of 7? At least the industry can relax after that furry mutant bailed the box office out (No not Kelsey Grammer in X-Men, I'm talking about Tom Hanks "DaVinci Code" mullet.)\nMay was also season finale time. For the most part all of my shows ended nicely, and though the Jim and Pam make-out session in "The Office" was perfect, many other show's hook-ups were just plain icky. Like Lorelai going back to Christopher on "Gilmore Girls", J.D's girlfriend getting knocked up on "Scrubs," Gabriella catching Carlos and the maid screwing around on "Desperate Housewives," and Meredith and McDreamy doing the dirty at a fake prom. Ugh, with them getting back together, "Grey's Anatomy" is going to suffer "OC" Ryan and Marissa syndrome and get stuck in a romance that drags down the show for two seasons. Speaking of "The OC," I refuse to even mention the death of Marissa Cooper, I'm done with the show forever. Ok fine, just a little rant. Whyyyyyy Whyyyyy Whyyyyy (you think Nancy Kerrigan can scream those words, she's got shit on me)! Sure Coop and I had our differences but killing her won't solve the show's problems. Seriously, how did it get this bad? Oh well, California here we won't come anymore.\nTaylor Hicks won "American Idol" but when his name was announced there was only one thing I could think about as Katherine McPhee smiled in the background, do you think Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are still friends? The obvious answer is no. Kelly is huge now and well, Justin is not. And after "From Justin to Kelly" they'd probably want to distance themselves forever (hey maybe "Since You've Been Gone" is about him), but that's like surviving the Titanic or some other disaster, you're bound together for life. While Justin's probably living off his uncle Samuel L. Jackson, (speaking of Samuel only 71 days until motherfuckin' "Snakes on a Plane!") Kelly is deservedly getting all the attention and their friendship is never even mentioned, leading me to believe it never actually existed. Kelly, give me a call and let me know.\nOn May 30th I woke up at seven (which does not happen often) to say farewell to Katie Couric. Truthfully I only watch "The Today Show" about five times a year, but it makes me sad that I won't have the option of watching it anymore. Sure if I want a Couric fix I could switch to CBS, but that involves watching the news, and me and important issues just don't mix (can't you tell, I just rambled about Justin and Kelly's relationship). The show was so pack filled with clips that I kept waiting for the "Montage" song from "Team America" to break out. Instead Tony Bennett sang "The Way You Look Tonight," the song that Katie and her late husband danced to at their wedding (insert teardrop here). But maybe Katie isn't the nurturing Queen of Nice we all view her as. Giving Meredith Vierra her job means the ladies on "The View" now have to suffer the wrath of Rosie O'Donnell. My money says Star Jones eats her first.\nThankfully Brad and Angelina had their baby Shiloh (perhaps they were hoping for a beagle puppy instead) in Narnia, er, Namibia thus making her ineligible to run for president, so all worries about the Pitts' world domination can be put to rest. But enough about them, lets congratulate Mira Sorvino for being sane and naming her son Johnny.