Down with hate

Very shortly after the hiring of the new IU basketball coach, I came upon a Web site that was titled very clearly, "FIRE KELVIN SAMPSON." \nThis might be the swiftest judgment of a new figure in IU's history. It might be because of certain minor recruiting infractions attached to the coach or the low graduation rate of his players. Maybe it's because no one will ever be Bobby Knight. Maybe a great many people just can't stand the man's name. Who names their kid Kelvin anyway?\nHowever, because of this Web site, I think I have had a wonderful epiphany. I can hate anything I want, arbitrarily or with reason ask "WHO'S WITH ME?!" and inevitably someone at IU will respond "Ah, what the hell ... I AM!" So I have determined a few causes that I will now propose be adopted by anyone at IU, human or canine, who is a lover of peace, democracy and the American dream.\nFirst, I propose that all bus riders protest the use of concrete benches at bus stops because they are cold to sit on. I recommend that all said benches be removed and replaced with beanbag chairs. Beanbag chairs will mold to any student's butt much more effectively than most other sitting devices. I say: DOWN WITH CONCRETE BENCHES. WHO'S WITH ME?! \nSecond, I propose that every building on IU's campus be required to withhold at least 100 square feet of floor space to be dedicated to one of the following rock 'n' roll bands: Aerosmith, Metallica, AC/DC, Poison, The Used, Motley Crue, Nirvana, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, U2 and Van Halen. This would help to preserve the greatness that is rock music and give students reasons to visit some of the more obscure buildings around campus. Country and rap music are just annoying and I think I might hate them. I say: UP WITH RANDOMLY SELECTED ROCK BANDS SPANNING THREE DECADES. WHO'S WITH ME?!\nThird, I propose that IU be deemed a 'no dead-squirrel-flinging' zone. As I left the Indiana Daily Student office last Tuesday afternoon, a dead squirrel flew three feet over my head and landed directly in my path, rendered a string of profanity from my mouth that would be inappropriate to repeat here. Though the event was very traumatic, I had a difficult time convincing my friends that it actually happened. I think this policy is a very important cause to prevent future squirrel-flinging-related hazards, injuries or traumas. I say: DOWN WITH DEAD SQUIRREL FLINGING. WHO'S WITH ME?!\nFinally, I propose that we all step back, take a deep breath and remember the important things in life, like acceptance, tolerance and people's rights to throw things like dead squirrels. Maybe we should remember to have a sense of humor. Maybe we should remember that some things are just games and that's what makes them great. Let us all realize that concrete benches, rap and country music, dead squirrel-flingers and yes, even Kelvin Sampson have a place in this crazy world of ours. I say: DOWN WITH HATE. WHO'S WITH ME?!