4 quick months

The 2006 spring semester is coming to a close. Final projects will be due. Exams will be taken. Students will freak out from the pressure. A true friend will get them a shot of whiskey to calm them down. We'll cry as we have to part with good friends. Relationships will face the task of long distance. We'll begin internships, work summer jobs or go back home for \nfour months. \nHowever, staying true to form and no doubt out of an attempt to grab pure narcissistic gratification, I am absolutely positive that the single biggest worry of at least 73 percent of students at IU is the fact that they will be faced with four months of not knowing my thoughts and opinions. \nBut do not worry loyal readers, for I have come up with a way to save you from such a world of despair and heartache. Here I have expounded what I predict to be at least a decent explanation of my thoughts over the next four months, condensing them into single paragraphs for quick and easy reading. If you get lost, just remember, they make sense to me. So have a good summer, be productive and as you read my last column of the semester, try to \nkeep up!\nMay: WOOO! Summer! I'm sure glad finals are over. Better tell the boss I can start working 40 hours a week again. There's nothing like grilling out, throwing back a few brews and generally relaxing. I've got a nice farmer's tan goin' on. I wonder if anything important is happening at school. Guess I'll find out in September. Do I have a rash? Hey, the Reds are starting off to a good season. Maybe we'll make the playoffs this year. It's almost June, better start inviting people out for my 21st birthday!\nJune: It's a lot better to work than to go to school. At least I don't have homework. What's this about a family vacation? Hey, that could be fun. Relax, visit with my parents, have them pay for stuff, not make any money. Wait ... not make any money ... damn! Oh well. Glad that rash was just an allergic reaction. I'M 21! I think I'll do 21 on my 21st. I have a headache. I'm never drinking again. The Reds aren't doing so well. That's OK. They'll swing back.\nJuly: That firework exploded where!? In the fish tank? Wow. I'm kind of tired of work. I should look up and see what classes I signed up for next semester. What? Will I go to the bar with you? OK, I'll go. It's hotter than Catherine Zeta-Jones out here. The Reds have lost 10 in a row. I hate my team. When is football season?\nAugust: I'm so damn bored. When does school start up again? I need to be productive or I'll go nuts. I made a ton of money this summer. Too bad I'm in debt. Well, just a week left of summer. It was a pretty good one. The Cubs are in first place?! \nHa ha, just kidding. See you soon!