Boycott of the week

It seems America is going through a "Boycott-of-the-Week" phase. \nPersonally, the Abercrombie and Fitch boycott put a smile on my face. I actually did not think it was possible for any mass group of teenagers to go against the (pointlessly) popular Abercrombie. The boycott was a form of protest against shirts that displayed slogans such as "Who Needs Brains When You Have These?" which many young women felt was derogatory and a bad influence on impressionable young girls. \nBut where was this boycott when Abercrombie manufactured thongs in children's sizes? I guess a steady supply of thongs is a staple of the sixth grader's wardrobe. You would also think people would be smart enough to stop wearing Abercrombie once they realized they are paying $30 for a very poor quality cotton T-shirt with someone's long last name on it that probably cost about 50 cents to manufacture in a Southeast Asian sweatshop. \nMoving on to the next boycott. \nAh, yes: American Girl dolls. In a world of half-naked Barbie dolls with unearthly orange skin or Bratz dolls with their hypercollagen-injected lips covered in prostitute-ish makeup, American Girl is a great respite. Based on girls from various periods in American history, the dolls coincide with well-written storybooks involving each character's life with a moral lesson. Who wouldn't want their child to play with dolls that actually wear clothes, look like children and have accessories that don't involve mini bottles of self-tanner, convertibles or questionable boyfriend characters? \nApparently, conservative parents don't approve. Why? Because American Girl donates money to Girls Inc., a company that sponsors substance abuse and pregnancy prevention programs and various athletic and educational activities for underprivileged girls. So what's the problem? Girls Inc. endorses a pro-choice policy and tolerance toward homosexuals. Gasp. Boycott American Girl because it donates to an organization that takes girls off the street and prevents them from turning to drugs or prostitution. But it's an evil group that promotes kidnapping all the girls in America and forcing them to become lesbians who have abortions.\nConservative parents who raise their kids right should go buy Teeny Bikini Barbie and the Bratz cosmetic surgery accessories instead. \nNow to my favorite boycott, we go to Alabama, where Gov. Bob Riley called for a boycott of travel to Aruba because of the disappearance of teenager Natalee Holloway after she left a club with three men during a senior trip. It's a tragedy when anyone becomes a victim of a crime. That much is true. But to use such a tragedy to paint an entire country as an evil cesspool of sin and vice is rather misguided. The island of 72,000 reported five homicides in 2004. I've been to Aruba, and I feel safer there than I do in many places here. Take the crime stats in South Bend, home of the prestigious University of Notre Dame. The city reported 10 murders in 2004 -- twice as many homicides as Aruba. Well, I have to go. I'm off to boycott South Bend. \nI wonder what next week's trendy boycott will be.