Selling myself

As a single guy looking for his first post-graduation job in the legal profession, it's occurred to me again and again that job hunting is a lot like dating.\nIn the professional world, I scour newspapers and Web sites for attractive job postings, dividing them into groups: dream jobs, jobs I realistically have a shot at getting if I bring my A-game and "safeties." I gather my materials together, mail them to potential employers and then wait by the phone.\nIn the dating world, I scan Web sites and social gatherings for attractive faces. I divide people into groups: people out of my league, people I could realistically date and people to call if I start drinking again. I send the wittiest, most charming e-mails I can or else muster the courage to call or ask them out in person. And once again, I wait by the phone.\nProfessionally, if I like a firm or agency that doesn't have any openings, I send a letter of interest. Socially, if I think someone's hot but don't know if he's in the market, I poke him on the Facebook.\nThen I get a call, and my heart starts racing. Someone wants to meet me! We set up a date and time to meet and bid each other fond farewells.\nI spend the next several days getting a haircut, deciding what to wear and drafting an exhaustive list of things to talk about. Oh, and of course figuring out how long before the interview-date I'll need to stop eating in order to be thin enough, avoid having spinach in my teeth and prevent gas problems.\nRegardless of how painstakingly I prepare, I'm never truly ready for the interview-date when it comes. I always find myself shape-shifting to fit the other person's expectations, so that sometimes I can't believe what's coming out of my mouth. \n"I've been fascinated by patent litigation since the second grade," for instance, or, "I think Kelly Clarkson is truly an under-appreciated genius."\nAnd all the while, whether over dinner or over tables strewn with the pages of my portfolio, I'm sitting there thinking, "Jesus God, I hope these people don't realize they could do WAY better than me."\nAfter a lot of sweating, smiling and hoop-jumping, it's finally over, and I go home and wait slavishly by the phone yet again.\nAlthough there are a lot of similarities, I guess dating and job-hunting do have some differences. Interviews only give me 20 to 30 minutes to make an ass of myself rather than an entire evening. I can be happy for my friends if they get callbacks from jobs I want, something that would never happen if they stole my potential boyfriend. And I never have to grapple with the uncomfortable moral question of whether to have sex on the first interview.\nFinally, with interviews, I don't have to worry about sexual compatibility; in any job I get in the legal profession, I figure I'll be on the bottom for a good long while.