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Friday, May 24
The Indiana Daily Student

More Yanks vs. BoSox

We all love the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry so much. Even with constant media\ncoverage and over-exposure, we just can't get enough of these two teams.\nLook at the numbers.\nThe opening day match-up between the teams garnered the highest ratings for opening day baseball on ESPN or ESPN2 in 11 years and was the third most-watched sports event ever televised on ESPN2.\nSo with the great ratings and constant coverage, why stop with just having the teams play in the opening series against each other? Why not have them meet up in six out of their first nine games? \nBaseball has already taken care of that for us, as New York and Boston are currently in the midst of their second series in the last eight days.\nBut hey, why stop there? Why don't the Yankees and the Red Sox just play every single game in their 162 game schedules against each other?\nAnd then, instead of four teams meeting in the American League playoffs, let's just have New York and Boston play in a 15-game series, with the winner going to the World Series.\nNope, nope, baseball fans might still be thirsting for more.\nLet's dump whichever team wins that 15-game series into the National League and after a one-game play-off with the National League Championship team, the Yankees and Red Sox will meet in the World Series.\nJust imagine it, a Bronx Bombers versus Bo-Sox World Series! We could have Ben Affleck as a guest coach on the Boston bench and Spike Lee as the Yankees bull-pen catcher. Lee could then direct "Fever Pitch 2," which would be more of a first-person documentary about his and Affleck's experience.\nWith all the coverage, religious groups would finally catch on that Johnny Damon is the second coming of Christ, and a whole new branch of people will fall in love with the Red Sox.\nBoston general manager Theo Epstein will appear on the next installment of "The Bachelor" and only girls claiming to be life long Red Sox fans will be allowed to compete for his affection.\nDuring the off-season, instead of playing winter ball or taking time off, the Red Sox and Yanks will field teams in the NBA. I can picture it now, Jeter throwing a lob to A-Rod as he slams it home over Curt Schilling!\nThe teams can also compete against themselves in a whole host of other competitions such as debate, ice-sculpting and poker. \nA new television channel will surface, entitled Yank-Bo-Sox 24-seven. If the teams don't happen to be competing against each other at the time, you can tune to the channel to catch those match-ups you might have missed in the past week.\nSports Illustrated will decide to substitute its swimsuit issue for a new issue dedicated to pictures of Yankee and Red Sox players and management in provocative poses. Just imagine George Steinbrenner modeling on the beaches of Hawaii. Some might think Sports Illustrated is insane for making such a drastic change, but SI will set a world record for magazine sales, as the publication not only sells out in newsstands across America but in Japan, Canada and Poland.\nAnd if that's not enough? Then we all need some serious help.

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