Political Mad Libs

President George W. Bush just can't get anything right. \n He had the support of the entire country after Sept. 11, then pissed off a bunch of people with the Patriot Act. When the wrest of the world was still pretty much behind him, he decided to give them a big "up yours" with the invasion of Iraq. And in the midst of an already hotly contested election, he decided to make things even worse by proposing an amendment to ban gay marriage.\nNow, I know what you're thinking at this point: Oh hell, another dumbass college kid who thinks he knows American politics better than anyone else. \nWell, I agree with you. The worst part about the Bush administration's divisive policies is that they've made millions of college kids into a generation of wannabe political experts.\nThe symptoms may include: withdrawals when not viewing CNN or FOX News, chronic willingness to share overblown, idiotic and trite opinions with anyone within earshot and mild fatigue.\nNow there's nothing wrong with having opinions about issues that affect us all, but if one more idiot who's taken Y100 tells me about his genius plan to end terrorism, I'm going to punch a puppy. (Just kidding. I love puppies. I just hate stereotypical college kids who give the rest of us a bad name. Therefore, I will only punch their puppies).\nStop and think for a moment: You're still in college, working toward a degree, and have zero real-world experience. You barely have enough knowledge to potty-train a toddler, let alone solve decades-old international conflicts.\nWorst of all, 99 percent of the solutions made by the know-it-all kid with three poli-sci credits aren't even original. They're just slight variations on the annoying dribble that spills out of the mouths of people like Bill O'Reilly and Michael Moore daily. I know it's hard to believe, but yes, you can be just as annoying and whiny as Michael Moore.\nAnyway, since all stupid college kids who think they know politics basically have the same ripped-off opinions, to save time, effort and sanity for everyone else, I present political Mad Libs to better get your point across.\nStill, no one will care what you have to say, but at the very least it will be more entertaining, especially if you don't read it first and just fill in the word, creating hilarious paradoxes like "President Poop."\n"I am a (political affiliation) who believes that President (name)'s policy on (noun) is a(n) (adjective). According to an article I found on the biased Web site, (Web site name), (number) percent of people will be negatively affected by this policy.\n"Instead, we need to follow my policy, that of a (year in college) at (name of a college). I took (class number) last semester, so now I feel I have the perfect answer to the (noun) problem, something no other head-of-state has thought about proposing because they aren't as (adjective) as me. It's at least twice as good as the plan of respected politician (name).\n"Oh, and just because I can, I would like to call the (name) administration (plural noun) since they are (plural noun) who will never read this, refute my argument or otherwise care. But then again, neither will anyone else because I am a (noun)-head who has too much (noun) on my hands and believes (noun) like to hear me (verb)."\nThere are enough real problems on this campus like the parking situation and the upcoming renewal of the athletic fee that we can actually band together and change. It's just a waste of time to talk about things we don't truly understand and can't do anything about.