It never ends

I started this semester with the overwhelming decision to avoid graduate school like the plague and dive head-first into the pool of adulthood. It was a scary decision, but somehow I thought my final semesters of college would prepare me for the big, bad world.\nBoy was I wrong.\nIt turns out that my second to last semester at this school has been exactly the same as the previous six, and I'm no closer to accepting my adult status than I was the day I moved into Forest Quad.\nI had this strange idea that the maturity fairy would just show up and teach me how to be an adult. Wouldn't that be nice? But unfortunately fairies and Santa Claus are only figments of my puerile imagination, so I'm left to try to figure this out on my own.\nSee, I could trick myself into believing that I'm an adult if it weren't for the fact that I've recently been caught crying like a baby over the prospect of moving. Wait, before you judge, let me explain:\nI've recently been offered an opportunity to work as an intern for a top newspaper, a position that has a high potential of turning into a full-time position. The only problem -- it's in Phoenix. I've never been farther west than Illinois. How in the world am I supposed to live in some alien state with mountains and cactuses? Or is it cacti? See, I don't even speak the lingo.\nThe idea of packing up my cat and the rest of my belongings and moving to a place where, according to the recruiter I talked to, it gets hot enough to melt your brain, scares the bejeezus out of me.\nThe truth is I'm ashamed of myself. I feel like most people my age would be jumping at the chance to pick up all their crap and move halfway across the country to start a new life. I guess I'm just not the adventurous type, or something. But then again, my mom's even less adventurous than I am, and if I were her at my age, I'd be celebrating my second anniversary right about now.\nHow is it that my mom and her peers were getting married and getting jobs at the age of 19, and I can't do it at the age of 21? What am I doing differently?\nThe only conclusion I can draw from all my pondering on growing up is that you're never ready to be an adult until you are one. The only way to do it is just to do it.\nI think I'm guilty of resembling characters from "Dawson's Creek" and thinking myself into a psychological hole when what I really need to do is suck it up and just move on. I just need to break through the barrier and claim my status as a member of the real world.\nI'm just hoping that the real world will accept me. I mean, how much room could there possibly be for a loud, girlie, somewhat obnoxious bookworm in this world? In my mind, it's still acceptable to skip in public and enjoy stuffed animals and go to Disney movies without a child in tow. How can I be an adult when I still so much love childish things? Who knows, maybe that just means I'll be a good parent or something.\nBut as I force myself to go to the dark side and leave all things juvenile behind, I remember the greatest excuse my dad ever gave:\n"Just because you get older doesn't mean you have to grow up"