Don't stare for too long

No one gets why depressed people stay depressed for so long. For example, Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor has been a sort of poster boy for angst since 1989, and where is he now, 15 years later? In his studio, working on a new record -- and judging from his Web site, there's still no indication that he's learned how to write a song in a major key. \n"What's the deal?" some ask. "How can anyone stay that gloomy for that long?" I argue that the answer is simple: For depressed people, depressing things take on a very high aesthetic value.\nThe best example I can think of is a personal one. On a peculiarly cloudy evening last spring in Santa Ana, Calif., I was entranced by the sky. I was so fixated on the clouds, I even stared as I crossed the busy streets, barely minding the traffic around me. The more I looked, the more I felt depressed, but it still didn't stop me from staring.\nLater I wondered why I always got depressed when I looked at something beautiful. The inescapable conclusion was that the sky was never beautiful -- it was depressing, and only a depressed person can see any beauty in it.\nThat seems to be the disconnection between those who have been through major depression and those who haven't. People on the inexperienced side of the depression divide don't understand that melancholy people hold onto melancholy feelings because they're seen as amazing, wonderful things. As much as I hate quoting pop songs, Frou Frou really said it best: "There's beauty in the breakdown."\nOther artists seem to be on the same wavelength. For example, look at the title of Switchfoot's breakthrough album, "The Beautiful Letdown." One of the highest-grossing films of all time is "Titanic," a film that uses very graceful camera work to depict a tragedy. The idea of looking to perceive beauty in depressing things is not at all uncommon; in fact, it perpetuates the stereotype that creative people often tend to be depressed in their personal lives.\nUnfortunately, these people try to live in that "beautiful" state of mind all the time. They have a hard time understanding that tragedy and drama are a lot like some beach cities in Florida: They're great places to visit, but terrible places to live. \nMost people try to indulge in the drama of books, movies or music in order to escape from the mundane plainness of reality, but depressed people are exactly the opposite. They need the ordinary as a venue to escape from the extraordinary. At first it might seem like an alien concept, but after you think about it, it just makes sense. Why are blogs all the rage? It's millions of melodramatic people over-medicating themselves on the mundane.\nJust because someone seems aloof doesn't mean they're not an interesting person to talk to. In my experience, depressed people are thinking all the time, and unless they're in a particularly nasty mood, they're always game for a little conversation. It may seem trivial, but sitting down and chewing the fat helps distract them from whatever idea they're playing in their head like a broken record. Talking about the mundane offers them an important break from their mind.\nRemember, it doesn't always take a reason to feel depressed; for some people it just seems natural. But as fall turns to winter and the clouds roll in over Bloomington almost every day, if you want to know who the depressed people are, all you have to do is see who's looking up.