My car exploded

I've heard IU's campus has some sort of parking problem. Individual vehicle sectors, commonly called parking spaces, are in high demand and short supply. Students must often promise away their firstborn children just to obtain parking permits and even then, they are not guaranteed a spot.\nI don't really have any direct evidence of these claims because I don't have a car. I used to have a car, but kid you not, it exploded.\nWell, it didn't actually explode per se, BUT had firefighters not extinguished the fire in the engine, it likely would have. I remember that day well. It was just like any other ordinary day, except for the part where my car's engine caught fire as I was driving.\nIt was a shocking experience, but it wasn't quite the shock of the century as said car had over 200,000 miles on it and often reeked of gasoline. Needless to say, after the fire incident, my poor car would never drive again. God rest its soul.\nSo, I can't cruise around like all the cool kids, but don't pity me. What I lost in transportation I gained tenfold in priceless icebreakers.\n"Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Joanna and my car exploded. Will you be my friend?"\nObviously, I have no firsthand experience with the parking situation at IU. So why don't I offer up a solution for something I know nothing about? It's what everybody else does, right? They don't call me Parking Problem Fixing Sally for nothing.\n(OK, nobody calls me that. But you can start.)\nPerhaps we could begin by reducing the number of cars on campus. If campus drivers mimicked my situation, that would cut down on cars. Upon second thought, that would involve arson, because as we discussed, my car exploded. So let's rule that idea out entirely.\nMaybe we just need more parking spaces. \nThe only viable solution I can see for making more space for parking is to bulldoze an area that we don't need like the Main Library or the Arboretum or the Kelley School of Business. \nNow, I know what you're thinking. This idea is a little bit radical and it has just one major flaw: Bulldozing is expensive. Not only that, to get rid of the aforementioned structures, explosives might have to be used. I don't think the University has enough extra funds set aside to blow up the business school.\nInstead of the University adding more spaces, we could cut down on driving with public transportation. But I've observed a large number of students already take the bus. It seems like every day I have to fight my way through a crowd of bus zombies along E. Seventh Street. They wait in long lines for that one blessed bus that drives them to sweet, sweet freedom or ... wherever. Their eyes gaze dreamily ahead, likely envisioning the bus as it pulls up to the stop in all its radiant, diesel-fueled glory. \nOnce the bus arrives, I become a salmon swimming upstream against the tide of students hungry for public transport, starving for that one beautiful chance to board the bus.\nI can see why the bus is so popular. Besides resolving the need for a parking spot, the bus is much like a huge limousine you can share with strangers.\nI prefer walking myself. Because it's easy! I've been doing it for many years now and I've developed somewhat of a knack for it. I can walk like nobody's business. Boy howdy.\nMore than 600 words later I still haven't managed to come up with any kind of constructive solution for the parking dilemma. We've determined that arson is bad, explosives aren't cost-effective, the bus is awesome and I get the gold medal for walking. But what of the eternal crapshoot that is finding a place to park on campus? What can I say? Parking Problem Fixing Sally has failed you.