This is real, really

Yesterday while I was reading the paper, I came across something that really caught my eye. The headline was from The Washington Post and it was entitled "The $50,000 Question."\nThere's a group called Texans for Truth, (Don't y'all just feel all the love that Texans have for their native son?), that is offering $50,000 to anyone who can come up with evidence that President Bush performed his duties in the Air National Guard between May 1972 and May 1973. That's a great deal of money to hand out just to prove their beloved Bush wasn't a coward or a war dodger, but in fact that he is an honorable war hero who performed his duties and served the time he was designated to serve. But as I read further, I realized this wasn't a group in support of Bush, but in fact it was a Democratic group from Texas which was against Bush. I couldn't believe there were actually people from the great state of Texas who were against Bush. But I didn't let that distract me from the important issue at hand -- someone is willing to pay $50,000 for evidence that Bush performed his duties in the Air National Guard.\nI started thinking about where I should go to find the info to clear Mr. Bush and get my money. Once I started doing research, I came across the Texans for Truth's Web site and discovered one of its members was also a member of the Alabama's 187th Air National Guard, the group where Bush claimed to have served. The airman, Robert Mintz, claims he has no memory of ever seeing President Bush on base. After I ran across that, I figured maybe he just doesn't remember how Bush looked back then. Maybe if I can find someone who remembers how he looks, I will be okay. But just as I began my tough search to find members of that group, the most beautiful thing landed in my lap. \nAn anonymous source faxed me a memo. The memo had information concerning the whereabouts of Mr. Bush from May 1972 to May 1973. Why would someone send us something fake like this? So here it is. While I can't show you the actual memo, I just ask you to trust us that this is legitimate. Really, I promise.\n"I am sending you this memo in order to clear the name of the leader of this country. Over the years I have heard people call my man, Mr. Bush, many harsh and vicious words that have quite frankly hurt my heart because I truly love this man. People think that all I do is advise the president on National Security issues and that I don't have fun. Well, trust me, I'm having a whole lot of fun. Just last night in my office we ... But back to the important issue. The reason it seems like there is this huge hole in his service records as to then he was supposed to be serving in the Alabama's 187 Air National Guard is because even at that age, the government saw that Bush had talent beyond his years. In May 1972, the U.S. Government asked him to go to the Middle East and look for land that was filled with black gold (code name for oil). Bush performed his duties very well, as he found areas such as Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan to be filled with huge oil pockets. When he got back to America, he worked secretly with the little-known U.S. Department of Oil Domination to devise a plan to take over as much oil around the world as possible, so that Americans can all benefit from it. It's all for the good and the survival of this great nation. So get off my man's back!" \nSo make of this what you want, but I'm taking this to the bank!