Calling Mr. Manners

The other day I stumbled across this post online that read, "Manners are scarce nowadays." The poster wrote this story about how some guy didn't hold the door for her and she was so pissed off she had to tell everyone about it. At first I thought this girl was dumb. But then I began seeing similar situations happening around campus, and it made me think she may have some kind of point. \nAren't we all taught at a young age that it's polite for a man to hold the door for a woman, whether entering or leaving a building? Well the post-er and subsequent commentators thought so. They think it's an expected and courteous gesture. And it is. I mean, it's not hard to do, and it makes you feel good when someone acknowledges your small act of kindness. For many it's become a habit and a sign that some kind of gentlemanliness is still around in our society. The men on the message board agreed with the women. But a later post reading "and if it's a good looking chick coming through I'll check out her ass as she passes by," diminished their credibility and spurred a whole different topic. \nI think chivalry is alive but not very well in our society. Since I'm on the topic, I'll use door-holding as an example. A lot of guys gladly hold doors for women but others don't. I'm one of them who does. I definitely consider myself a gentleman -- my mom's conservative mindset made me such. Whenever I go into or leave a building, I always look behind me to make sure I don't leave anyone. However, this doesn't mean that I believe all non-holders are jerks. I understand how someone can go from being a holder to being a non-holder. I've felt the burn of a girl just walking through the door without acknowledging your gesture. I just deal with it by cussing her out in my head and moving on, but that's just me. All anyone asks is a simple "Thanks," or friendly smile, but not all women want the door held for them. \nI've heard stories about guys who've held doors for girls and got a lesson in feminism instead of a "thank you." It's always the same argument: "Do you think that because I'm a girl I can't open my own door." I'm all for feminism, but why pick on the little things?\nAmanda Wolfman, a self-described feminist and writer for the University of Washington newspaper wrote, "I don't need males to open doors for me. I'm an adult, and I have two arms that function quite well, thank you very much. I would rather be treated like an equal and interact with people in an atmosphere of mutual respect." Okay, I like her drive for respect, but my question is this: How does a man opening a door for a woman qualify as inequality? Most men are mindless when holding the door for a woman. Believe me -- we definitely aren't pondering male superiority. Yeah, we're probably thinking about oppressing women, killing things and sex, right hardcore feminists?\nBut to Wolfman we might as well be. Attitudes like hers may be the cause of a decrease in door-holding, and in turn, manners in general. Manners are scarce because it's easy for a man to get confused. Every woman is different. Some of them appreciate the act of door-holding but others may be insulted by it.\nBorrowing the logic of Forrest Gump, "Women are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." But just in case, hold the door anyway.