A lament on maturity

This past week, I spent a good amount of time making phone calls to publishing houses, filling out internship applications and mentally preparing myself for the possibility of living in New York for the summer. Such efficiency! So responsible!\nWhen I called my parents and told them how the search was going, my dad brought up the family's vacation plans --"Yeah, we're going to be renting that beach house in Ocean City from July 31 through ... "\nAt this point, I stopped listening entirely because my choices were becoming depressingly clear: eight to 10 weeks of a low-paying, resume-building experience in a strange place where I will be completely alone, or a summer at home with my old job, hanging with friends on the weekends, taking time for vacations. I'm fully prepared to select the thankless resume-builder.\nIn short, I'm suddenly acting like a mature, responsible adult.\nCrap! When did that happen?\nEveryone warns us about this as we make our way through high school. Older people love to say, "Kiddo, you don't get summer vacation in the real world." It's funny how the world is only deemed "real" when it sucks. People whip out the phrase when talking about bills, child care hassles, audits, love handles, retirement planning, mammograms, male pattern baldness and all of those other goodies that come with age. \nThat real-sucky world is creeping up on us faster than we would like to believe. Five years ago, I would never have skipped out on a vacation. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have been working at all. Now, two-and-a-half of my undergrad years are over. It won't be long before I exchange my comfortable jeans and t-shirts for business-casual and pinchy-toed shoes. I'll have to get to bed at a decent hour, tone down my swearing and get used to living in a world that, from here, looks pretty stiff and boring. \nThe thought is enough to make me regress into tantrums and toddler-hood for one panicky moment. Why, oh why, does being an adult always seem to mean giving up the things you enjoy in order to strengthen your resume or suck up to the boss? \nI don't want to go to work! I just want to sleep, dance around my room, play video games and eat Nutella straight off the spoon. Is that so much to ask? Waaaah.\nIn all honesty, a lot of amazing stuff comes with responsibility and maturity. The more responsibilities we take on, the more control we have over our lives. I am excited about gaining financial independence, making a home for myself in a new place and moving forward in all areas of my life. \nIf I get too freaked out about how much my world is changing, I think of how lame it would be if it stayed the same. Everybody knows at least one person whose life is not changing -- they still live at home, still work at the Payless or Target they worked at through high school, still spend their weekends getting trashed in their mother's basement. \n I'll take pinchy-toed shoes over that any day of the week.\n Maturity -- the eighth stage in Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development -- is a time of reflection upon one's life. Ideally, a person fully accepts his or her choices, and feels satisfied. \nGranted, his theory also says I won't really reach maturity until I'm 65, so I have a long way to go. For now, I'll focus on making something out of myself so once I'm there, creaking away in my rocking chair and listening to Outkast on the oldies station, I'll be able to look back with pride at the things I accomplished -- and without regret -- for the things I abandoned.