A guy and a guitar

What is it about a guy and a guitar?\nTake the most pathetic, anti-social, unattractive kid. Put a guitar in his hands, teach him a few power chords, show him how to kick his legs like Angus Young and his chances of getting some sex would increase at least 35 percent … AT LEAST. \nWhy? Is it the ramped, phallic symbolism? Is it his choice of musical style? Is it his "softer side" that emerges as he plays his half-assed cover of Dave Matthews' 279th song about sex?\nThere's always that point at a party where some guy has to bust out his acoustic and wail away on Sublime, Ben Harper and Jack Johnson to a crowd of drunken parishioners. And you think he just "happens" to do that?\nPlease. Busting out a guitar at a party is like dropping half a dose of roofies in every red cup.\nIt's a social enigma that's baffled me for years. The instant I saw my best friend strap on his guitar and cover Green Day's "Basket Case" in 8th grade, I knew he had an upper hand over any one of us who refused to take the time to learn the axe. The girls' eyes seemed to glimmer like nothing we'd ever seen.\nAnd ever since then, I've wondered why the hell guys who are nowhere near what one might call "attractive" summon a bevy of girls to surround them the second they whip out a Les Paul and play some Beatles tunes.\nBut I think I'm beginning to understand …\nI saw The White Stripes on Tuesday in Indianapolis, the "brother-sister" combo from Detroit who has revitalized rock by stripping it down to simply a guitar and drums. Jack White pounded out every song as if he was about to die, injecting a slew of energy into every riff.\nOf course, girls lost it, for Jack had become a sex symbol. Though there was no underwear thrown on stage, I did witness one woman actually sobbing, brought to tears by his very presence.\nAnd you know what? I don't blame her. Jack White is the most charismatic and emotional musician since Kurt Cobain. Couple that with the help of "sister" Meg White on drums, who, by the standard "Cosmo" definition, isn't hot. And before the show, I never really gave her looks much thought.\nBut the second I saw her behind those drums … damn.\nSomething came over me. Instantly, I had me a little crush on Meg White and, yeah … she played those drums well.\nAnd it wasn't just me. Every guy in the Murat Egyptian Room was screaming for Meg's affection. It was insane.\nI told my friend Carrie about it, and she thought I was nuts. She couldn't understand how, by just sitting behind a drum kit and wailing out "Black Math," Meg White could be so much hotter than she was before.\nBut I don't think I understood it either.\nI'll never fully grasp why the guy with the guitar has an easier time with the ladies, but now I think I've got a better idea. There's some intangible power of attraction that's granted to you when you pick up a Fender and play it well … or when you get behind the drums. Placed in the right hands, an instrument is a weapon that can mold minds. And you may suck at it, but you try and effort can be more attractive than talent.\nI guess I'd better go get me a guitar …