Fumbling Barney

I've been a dog lover all my life, but I couldn't help but laugh when I read an Associated Press wire report that President Bush fumbled his Scottish terrier, Barney, at the airport Saturday. Evidently, when Laura Bush was handing the First Fuzzball to the president, poor Barney took a tumble onto the pavement, much to the consternation of the Little League softball team Mr. Bush was meeting at the time. \nAlthough the 11- and 12-year-old girls were a bit shocked, the president, like the good faux Texan he is, recovered the fumble by scooping up Barney and planting a kiss on his snout. \nI wonder if we'll get a kiss and some soothing words when we bounce off the pavement.\nThe country is in midair and plummeting Earthward, thanks to the president's ham-handed fumblitis and his administration's habit of coating everything they give him with axle grease.\nIraq is a mess, the budget deficit is starting to exceed those of some continents, and public education is on a Stadium Express bus bound straight for the bottom of a limestone quarry. Oh, and The New York Times reports that the Taliban is beginning to get new recruits and expand their raids in Afghanistan. \nThey're on the run all right, Mr. President. With the ball you guys coughed up.\nJust once, I'd like to see our government take care of business and hold onto the damn ball. But, after a four-week vacation spent jogging in the Texas heat and holding barbecues, the Fumbler-in-Chief and his Vaseline-wielding minions are back to work, botching energy policy and air quality.\nMonday, the AP reported that Mr. Bush cites the recent blackout as indication that "We don't need voluntary reliability standards, we need mandatory reliability standards." Well, duh. But on Aug. 23, The Washington Post reported that the Bush-backed Republican Congress repeatedly shot down Democratic bills designed to fund power grid improvements. \nFumble! \nAnd, how exactly will we be able to mandate reliability if the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission carries out its plan to deregulate the energy industry? \nFirst down, California!\nSpeaking of California, recent federal government activity to overturn air-quality improvement efforts in Los Angeles nearly defies belief. Saturday, the AP reported that the Department of Justice is pressuring the Supreme Court to undermine efforts to provide for cleaner truck fleets. \nWhat's more, last week Mr. Bush's version of the Environmental Protection Agency unleashed revisions which will effectively cripple the Clean Air Act. From now on, the EPA wants factories and power plants to be able to upgrade facilities without installing the most up-to-date antipollution measures.\nWhere exactly does the Bush Administration think smog comes from? Terrorists? \nLet's see ... how to put this ... first down, Saudi Arabia?\nWhat's most appalling about all this is that sooner or later, we're going to have to face the fact that every time the Bushies fumble, we're further along the way to getting our butts kicked. \nBob Herbert of The New York Times notes that budget deficits will be a millstone around our collective necks for the foreseeable future. The National Resources Defense Council, a respected environmental group, views current clean-air policies as extremely detrimental to public health. And, as Paul Musgrave pointed out in this space Monday, we're likely to be footing the bill in Iraq for many years.\nSuddenly I feel like a pigskin under 1,200 pounds of fat and football gear.\nHappily, Barney appeared to fare better than we ultimately will, as he suffered no ill effects from his tumble to the tarmac. \nAt least Mr. Bush doesn't own a pet fish.