Virus of the week

I miss the West Nile Virus. What ever happened to that disease? It seems like the moment we finally start to get comfortable with a mysterious disease, along comes another one to strike fear in our hearts. AIDS was the talk of the town back in the day when Magic Johnson revealed he carried HIV and Arthur Ashe lost his life to it. Now, it's been put on the shelf along with the other late, great diseases. It's no less of a problem, but with the media's eye turned on to some new viral warrior, AIDS has taken the back seat, while SARS is driving and West Nile sits shotgun. It's like a parade -- you're cool when you're passing by, but it's not long until you're out of sight and forgotten. \nLast summer, West Nile made any body of stagnant water suspicious, and the quarterly prophets for citronella manufacturers skyrocketed. \nWe began an all-out assault on mosquitoes armed with an arsenal of Deet and Off! Skintastic, putting those blood-suckers back in their place. \nUnfortunately, it didn't work. However, as the summer came to a close, we began to move our war threats to Iraq, and almost overnight West Nile went away. We had better things to do.\nI think we attack diseases by taking away their dignity. During the middle of last summer, mosquitoes were on top of the world -- I'll be damned if these little guys weren't just the cat's meow last June and July. We glorified them in the media for months. Then we simply stopped talking about them as if they were no longer deserving of our attention. And just like that, they gave up.\nWith sadness on his face, the mosquito president said, "They don't care about us anymore. Let's pack it up and go home." \nWithout their dignity, they flew home with their suckers between their legs. \nI, for one, feel sorry for them and all of the diseases that have tried so hard to eliminate significant portions of our human population, only to be left in the abyss of our thoughts. Let's give these diseases some props for a job well done and keep the population updated on what these remarkable little viruses can do. We should celebrate their landmark achievements. Perhaps we could give them awards like the record industry? If a disease kills a million people, let's give it a gold syringe. Kill two million and you're going platinum. It's a fun way to keep track of these diseases and their progress. \nMaybe we should have a holiday for our lost diseases. I'm thinking something along the lines of Halloween. We can all throw big costume parties and dress up like our favorite ailment. This year, I'm debating whether to go as the bubonic plague or polio. I could dress up as a rat, or maybe FDR. \nI hear this year's hot pick for costumes is SARS, so if you want to be unique, leave your face mask at home. Instead, you could dress as a mosquito and leave people guessing. People would be asking you, "Are you West Nile?" After a puff of your cigarette, you could cock your head slightly to the side, and in a suave, confident voice say, "No, baby. I'm the original ... Malaria."\nI think the idea has promise. \nI just want to give you a heads-up that just because the media doesn't talk about a disease anymore, it doesn't mean that it no longer exists. You still have to be careful out there. Don't live in fear, but be aware that these things don't just go away the way they seem to. Enjoy your life, but wear a rubber and put on bug spray.