Summer job blues

Ah, summer. A time for going to the beach, having barbecues and the grueling task of finding a summer job you know you're going to end up hating anyway. Trying to find a summer job in Bloomington is turning out to be as hard as finding out what ever happened to all those Campbell's soup labels you collected for school in second grade. In other words, it's elusive. \nHowever, the fact that there aren't many jobs out there is only the threshold to the job-finding terrors that await. Some local employers have the strangest hiring tactics I've ever seen. \nNot so long ago in our beloved Bloomington, I applied for several jobs and received not one phone call. Strangely enough, I walked back by these places a week later only to find their "Now Hiring" sign still staring at me with its beady, taunting eyes. \nAt first I wanted to run inside, rip their "Now Hiring" sign off the wall, run to the counter and yell, "Oh, are you really?" Then, I would proceed to hog-tie the manager and tickle him mercilessly until he gave me a job -- or peed his pants. Either way, I would consider it a solid victory. \nBut I digress. As much as I wish I had the guts to make this heroic move, I did not and opted for the more simple plan B.\nI walked in calmly and in my "cool guy" voice said, "Hey, I see that you're still hiring. I filled out an application over a week ago and haven't heard back. I was just wondering if perhaps you lost my application." \nThe manager, in all of his middle-aged, balding, need-to-hop-on-a-Stairmaster glory, said, "I'll look." \nI could tell he was clever from the moment I saw him. After digging through a sea of papers, he finally produced my application. After looking it over, he says, "You're overqualified." \nOverqualified? Shouldn't that be my decision? If I thought I was overqualified, I wouldn't have filled out an application. If this is the way this company is going to go about hiring people, they could at least have the courtesy to change the sign to: "Now Hiring Complete Morons and Utter Life Failures." At least then I would see the sign, contemplate if this was me and after much inner struggle and personal debate, decide that maybe this wasn't the best place for me. But then again, maybe it was.\nAt another location, I was turned down because they already had too many men on staff. This all would have been well and good, except for the fact that every employee I saw there at the time was a female. And yet, I could swear that not moments before, the manager had told me he had too many men working there.\n Equal opportunity indeed. Apparently, this time I was underqualified -- a pair of breasts and a flashy skirt shy of getting employed at this establishment. But I guess it's understandable that nobody would want to buy tacos and margaritas from somebody wearing pants. \n"I'm sorry, you have man-hands. I can't order food from you," they would say.\nSadly, these were only a few of my adventures in job hunting. If you were wondering, I did find a job eventually. However, only weeks after starting, I called in sick and the manager thought I was lying, so he fired me. The wheels on the bus go round and round, don't they? \nBetter luck to you; and feel free to hog-tie and tickle that manager behind the counter until he pees. I'll be cheering or holding him down for you.