Third fork from the left spells success

Which fork is the right fork for the right dish? When is it all right to leave the table to go to the restroom? What is the appropriate amount to spend when dining with someone?\nSome might say because of a fast-paced, fast-food, technology-driven society, etiquette has dropped by the wayside, and living a life of proper manners might seem like a never-ending minefield. But finding the way back to respectable protocol might be as simple as paying attention to detail.\n"In most cases, it's as simple as basic common sense," said Joy Leppert, owner of The Joy of Etiquette, an Indianapolis-based company specializing in courses on etiquette. "If you treat people with kindness and respect, you'll be fine."\nCorrect manners are especially important for college students about to embark on the business world. While holding open a door or saying please and thank you might be a measure of a person's sensitivity, Leppert said people are not learning basic table manners, which are still important in the real world.\nAbout four years ago, Joe Boes, assistant director of development for the Kelley School of Business, became interested in etiquette issues facing students. He learned proper dining etiquette issues and said rules such as which silverware to use and whose water glass is whose are important lessons for most students.\n"I became interested in dining etiquette because a lot of students will find that during the interview process, especially the second interview, will be conducted over a lunch or dinner," Boes said. "It's just good to know some of the basic manners. There are many recruiters who will base their final decision on hiring someone based on their experience in a dining environment. My goal is to make them aware that how they conduct themselves socially is just as important as how they conduct themselves in a one-on-one interview."\nBoes began conducting workshops for students four years ago and found students are receptive to learning suitable etiquette for social gatherings.\n"There are a fair number of students who have not had exposure to multiple forks and spoons and dessert settings," Boes said.\nBesides being an important factor for success in the business world, proper etiquette is also necessary in everyday life, Leppert said. \n"If you have two people with the same degree and the same grades, and one knows these things and one doesn't, chances are that the person who can pay attention to detail and can represent themselves well will get the job," Leppert said.\nLeppert organizes etiquette programs for Butler University, high schools and the Marion County Public Library. Last semester, she conducted a course at IU's Delta Gamma and Kappa Delta sororities.\n"I think it's extremely beneficial to know these things," said senior Jessica Lascola, who arranged for Leppert to instruct Delta Gamma sorority members. "I'm not saying at every single meal we all practice these things. If you go to a regular DG lunch, that's not what it's like, but it's still good to prepare for the future, for interviews."\nLeppert said she believes a fast-paced society is the cause of lost manners. Soccer practices, piano lessons and ballet classes wind up taking precedence over sit-down family dining, Leppert said. Families find themselves inhaling food at McDonald's or eating in the car.\n"I'm guilty of this too," Leppert said. "With most dual-income homes, both parents are tired and the children are tired, and it becomes easier to eat dinner out of a sack than to sit down and have a family dinner. It's very much the society we live in -- everything is disposable."\nTimes have changed since the age of the French royal courts in the 1600s and 1700s. Under King Louis XIV, a placard (the word "etiquette" means "card" or "placard") listed rules to follow while in the court.\nEtiquette expanded in the United States with Emily Post's "Etiquette" in 1922. Post, a socialite-turned-journalist, is noted as America's foremost manners expert, and her book is still in circulation today.\nFor those who feel lost in the maze of proper manners, Boes and Leppert both said keeping in mind simple details and people's feelings can be the best bet for success. Even Post, the matriarch of etiquette, agreed: "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use"