Don't take away my sports bra

The Student Recreational Sports Complex and the School of Health, Physical Education, and Recreation are entertaining the notion of implementing a dress code. This is about as good an idea as setting Pee Wee Herman loose in the crowd of a Harry Potter showing. The proposed change would outlaw tank tops and cut-off T-shirts (yes, even for sweet dudes like you). The Fitness and Wellness Council is encouraging feedback and suggestions before they reach a verdict. I encourage every student affected by this issue to emphatically oppose a dress code and voice their opinions to these officials.\nThe council said that these changes would cut down on the amount of disease spread throughout the gym. Have you guys been snorting Xenadrine? The absence of sleeves is responsible for sickness? I've never come home from the doctor's office with a prescription for sleeves. Of course I know this is an effort to reduce the amount of sweat left on the equipment, but why can't they just enforce the rule of wiping down a machine after it's used? The equipment often resembles the Louisiana Bayou by the time some people are finished.\nOfficials have also said that a dress code would make the gym more appealing to users. I find this hard to believe. Sleeves or no sleeves, it will never be appealing. Everyone working out is greased up like Richard Simmons, and it's extremely humid (one time it actually started to drizzle inside the HPER). If they want to make the atmosphere more pleasurable, why not ask Shane's World about shooting their next film at one of the gyms instead of Teter. \nSome students proclaim that the absence of a dress code at these facilities has made them uncomfortable. I urge you to seek out these people and throw water on them. On the contrary, a dress code would actually prevent comfort. Many women choose to wear tank tops to remain cool and despise wearing T-shirts or baggy clothing because it's constricting. \nOthers contend that a dress code would allow people to focus on their workouts and not get distracted by looking at others. Is this a joke? Show some self control -- it's a gym, not Night Moves. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing a fly honey as much as the next guy. I even occasionally (frequently) curtail my workouts to be around these women, doing my share of jazzercising and tummy-tucks. But to be so sidetracked that you cannot even perform your exercise? C'mon. Why don't all you aspiring R. Kellys just stay home and watch "The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show" you taped last week (I can make a copy for anyone who needs it). \n And what about the poor guys whose only reason for living is so they can take their shirts off in front of people. They might slide into a severe state of depression if cutoffs aren't permitted at the gym. Senior Ed Jordan said, "How am I supposed to show off these guns if there's a dress code? I just got these bad boys regis-tered in Indiana."\nThe Fitness and Wellness Council should focus concern on other issues such as the lack of oxygen and shabby music at the HPER, the boiling hot drinking water at the SRSC and the insufficient parking at both facilities. Just let us wear whatever we want. If nothing else, a dress code would prevent all of us from witnessing the phenomenon of guys who wear colorful tank tops. And we can all afford to squander this great source of comedy.