A propagandist PlayStation

The United States is going to war with Iraq. Many of you are uncertain that I can be so certain about that, due to so many of us who are questioning the need for a full-scale Middle Eastern invasion. Just two weekends ago, protesters marched on Washington D.C. and various other major U.S. cities to show their distaste for the war. The U.N. is on the fence of the U.S. resolution to attack Iraq if there has been a "material breach." France, Russia and Mexico, some of our best economic and military allies in the past few decades, are worried about what will happen if the world goes to war yet again. Yet, despite all this, we all know deep in our hearts, whether Republican or Democrat, that President Bush wants this war to occur. There appears to be no stopping his tenacity for invading Iraq. Bush is so pro-war right now, it'd take a miracle to get him to reverse his decision.\nIf there was only some way for him to let all his frustrations out on Saddam Hussein and not destabilize the entire region.\nLuckily, one enterprising man seems to have an answer that would placate both Bush and those against the war. Think about it -- Bush is very stressed out after the past year or so. Things aren't going his way. His popularity is slipping, and the Republican Party is in danger of falling behind farther in the Senate due to a tight election. If Bush were to get some of that stress off his chest, could the world be saved?\nThat's the idea behind Mikel Reparaz, the chairman of the Campaign to Buy Bush a PlayStation 2 (www.evilninja.net/buy bush.htm). After all, there have been plenty of times when we, as college students, get incredibly frustrated with life and our studies. So how do we deal with it? Simple. We pop in "Grand Theft Auto 3," or we fire up the GameCube. Video games help our small little lives, so wouldn't it be fair to say they can help large, major lives, too?\nThe Campaign to Buy Bush a PlayStation2 is designed to allow Bush to do all his invasion tactics in a world where he can't do any irreparable harm. Small donations are necessary in order to get the campaign off the ground. After all, it's the people who are going to be effected by another Gulf War, so shouldn't the people have the responsibility to try and stop one?\nAlong with the PS2, the campaign is also planning on sending George Bush a veritable smorgasbord of gaming accessories. Included in the package will be a memory card so the President doesn't have to leave his PS2 on for long periods of time (for example, when he has to go to the bathroom or has a meeting with the Minister of Burundi). Also included will be a second controller in case Dick Cheney feels left out and wants to get involved. Imagine those late night WWF Smackdown! 2 tournaments at the White House!\nOnto the games. Both "SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs" and "Conflict: Desert Storm" games are going to be included. Conflict: Desert Storm is appropriate, because this new game actually allows you to stage a full-scale invasion of Iraq, up to and including assassinating Hussien. I'm not sure if that'll sink in without graphic representation, but commercials for "Conflict" actually show a military sniper taking aim at Hussein's head! If that won't make the President happy, what will?\nOh, a real full-scale invasion would. But that would cost a little more.