Resolutions for a new year

We will not forget 2001. We inaugurated a president who had fewer popular votes than his opponent, and the nation's economy sank into recession for the first time in a decade. Of course, everything seemed to pale in comparison to the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11. \nFor better or worse, 2002 is shaping up to be quite the unforgettable year as well. The whole nation still seems relatively unified and optimistic, the economic decline seems to have bottomed out, and the Taliban are running or just plain giving up. On the other hand our "War on Terror" continues and may shift focus. Nuclear powers India and Pakistan inch closer to war and Rosie O'Donnell is still on the air.\nAs we remember last year and prepare for 2002, we can better focus the year's resolutions. Here are my suggested resolutions for those who figured prominently in the news:\n• President George W. Bush: To learn from my father's mistakes and use my current political capital and high ratings to push through legislation, rather than sit on it. To fight for my nominees' appointments being held up by Democrats. To continue fighting terrorists and countries that harbor them.\n• Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle: To focus less on positioning for the 2004 Presidential race and focus more on bipartisanship. Not to raise taxes. Not to blame Bush for the recession that began under Clinton. To stop whining and bickering.\n• Former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani: To take a vacation, and then start gearing up for a race for governor.\n• IU President Myles Brand: To eat dinner with Josh (the author) and his roommates as I promised him, not for political reasons, but to get a glimpse of typical students. To use this opportunity to improve my image and show that I am not the egotistical jerk many students think I am.\n• Coach Mike Davis: To place in the top three of the Big Ten and advance past the first round in the NCAA tournament. To stop talking about former coach Bob Knight. To keep bringing in awesome recruiting classes like the one coming to IU next year.\n• Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: Not to scoff or be rude during the president's State of the Union address. Not to run over police officers at the airport. To smile and be nicer.\n• Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld: To continue giving encouraging, reassuring and entertaining press conferences. To continue letting the American public see how foolish the press corps can be at times. If the war on terror turns its focus to another country (i.e. Iraq), I will execute another brilliant and successful military campaign like the one in Afghanistan has been.\n• Osama bin Laden and Taliban spiritual leader Mullah Mohammed Omar: To actually follow what Islam and the Koran dictate, which does not include mass terrorism. Not to be surprised when there aren't 72 virgins waiting for us after death, because we won't be in heaven.\n• The American public: To remember all of the Americans who sacrificed their lives, emotions and pocketbooks for the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. To remember the brave souls that prevented the hijackers of United Flight 93 from crashing their jet into more than just a field. To continue the sense of patriotism, sacrifice and reflection.