Do I win an award for this one?

have just learned that the column I wrote earlier this year about my first date has been nominated for an award.\nThis blows my mind. If I knew I could get awards for telling embarrassing facts about myself when I was younger, I would have started doing this long ago.\nInstead, I took the traditional route to fame and glory by trying out for sports teams and running for student government positions.\nBoth were miserable failures.\nMy junior year of high school, I deluded myself into thinking that I could make the varsity basketball team. I had never tried out for an athletic team before. In other words, this is like Saddam Hussein starting his own cable gourmet cooking show and expecting it to be an instant success. (This week on "Cooking With Saddam," we'll learn how to really spice up that boring meatloaf your mother used to make.) \nThere is a reason the editor of the high school newspaper generally is also not on the basketball team. It turned out being able to write does not automatically mean you have supreme skills on the court, much to my disappointment. The things you learn in high school. (I also learned during my four-year tenure there that being the editor of the newspaper does not equate to having a long list of girls wanting to ask you out. I really should have read that list of fringe benefits that came with the job more clearly.)\nAnyway, it turned out I didn't quite have what it takes to be an athlete, so I decided to try student government.\nThe person running against me for treasurer was none other than one of the most popular cheerleaders in school. Undaunted, I made tens of campaign ads espousing my qualities in quotes I totally made up such as "Joe Grace saved my baby...he'd make a great treasurer" and "Joe Grace brought my country out of economic ruin...I'd vote for him."\nIt turned out humor does not beat out a beautiful blonde wearing a short skirt. I learned so much in high school.\nI basically gave up on fame and glory after that and decided to stick with what had always worked for me...making fun of myself. I never expected to get anything for it besides a few fingers pointing at me as I walked by random people.\nFinger 1: Isn't that the guy who admitted to having his stomach growl so loudly in class that the girl next to him jumped five feet out of her seat?\n Finger 2: Yeah, we better stop pointing, though. He might write about us.\nWow, that was beyond absurd. I'm proud of myself.\n But it seems my dedication to completely embarrassing myself is finally paying dividends. The very fact that I was nominated really says something. My guess is that it says the people who chose my column took a few too many hits off the hookah (Blatant Propaganda: see my last column at www.idsnews.com if you want to learn what this wonderful word means) during the nomination process. \nOh well, I thank them anyway.