Bush family 'talking heads'

Who's the television president?\nBill Clinton wins that one hands down, right? \nOnly if you ignored the 2000 push to market George W. Bush as the low-acid orange juice alternative. Tastes good, and won't make you queasy in the morning. But ever since the ceiling caved in on the new economy ... or is it that the floor fell out from underneath? Whatever. Ever since everyone on Wall Street started talking to their rubber duckies, our un-duly elected president has been at the center of a ratings crisis. As a result, it's getting harder and harder to tell who's in charge: the Chief of Staff or a White House team of television producers.\nIn this Sunday's New York Times, several Bush strategists are quoted on their programming plans for the fall. The article noted that in this time of economic worry Bush would "... give more economic prescriptions, diluting what was initially planned as a season devoted largely to his education agenda and talk about values."\nOne White House heavy admitted that Communications Director (or VP of Prime-Time Programming) Karen P. Hughes "had a whole fall offensive lined up for all this character and values stuff." But now Ms. Hughes admits that we are maintaining some flexibility in October. \nThat's the Washington equivalent of making sure there are enough reality shows in development, just in case the Great Race falls flat. And indeed, George the Lesser seems to be doing just that. The administrators cite polls indicating that Americans don't think Mr. Bush is a very commanding leader. And instead of attempting the impossible and turning him into a real president, the White House staff is intent on their only option: making him look like a real president. \nOne central debate in this effort involves whether or not to program the president into more majestic White House galas. Many of his advisors think this would make the president look more presidential. Others worry that Dubya would be swallowed up -- and look out of his element -- in such settings. \nIndeed, Ms. Hughes voiced a concern that there had been too many medium-sized events that did not always generate favorable coverage for the president. \nWhereas disgusted journalists and grandmothers bemoaned the Bill and Monica Show, the Bushes are more like a major network: a corporation full of people desperate to make us think that blow-dried air-heads know enough about the news to keep watch over the world. \nThere were the days of black and white, of that old bird Senator Preston Bush, followed by the preening peacock, G.H.W. Kennebunkport Bush. Then, for a few minutes, or what I like to call the nineties, we changed channels. It was more like the infancy of MTV than the solid Walter Cronkite days at CBS. \nAnd now we've got this turkey, who the White House network worries looks out of his element in Washington, D.C. He's the President, for heavens sake. Isn't the capital supposed to be his element? Convinced that Dubya's more at ease on his ranch, some desperate advisors are suggesting moving the capital to Crawford ... Texas, that is. \nYou know, like when the Brady Bunch would go on those zany trips to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon? But as we're gearing up for the fall ratings sweeps, it's becoming more and more clear that GW's affiliation is more WB than PBS.