The fine art of the pickup line

While I was at Marsh trying to decide between pretzels and those really good lime tortilla chips, a guy came up to me and said:\n\"I know a fox when I see one.\"\nWow, what a compliment. How do you respond to such a smooth and impressive pick-up line? In my best sarcastic tone I simply said:\n"Uh, thanks."\nI grabbed the lime chips and booked it to the check out line. He followed. He proceeded to make small talk with me about spring break and the weather. I've never wanted an express line to live up to its title as badly as I did while I was chatting with this guy. He was a few cans short of a six-pack, and he was missing two teeth.\nI recently had a two-hour conversation with one of my guy friends. He told me his love life is painful and as I was attempting to advise him in his time of need, I realized there is a fine art to picking up girls. Guys, this one is for you.\n1. Pick-up lines are stupid. There is no way to have an interesting conversation with a guy who just told you that if he had a quarter he'd call his mom to tell her he met the woman of his dreams.\n2. Do play hard to get at the beginning. If she knows she has you from day one, it's no fun. Let her call you and don't call her every night.\n3. Do not take the nice guy "open car doors" image too far. It may start to get a little annoying and a large percentage of the female population would chose a guy with jerk qualities over a nice guy. Sorry, it's a very sad reality and I can't believe I just admitted it.\n4. Freshmen, do not take a girl out on your meal points. There's something a little disturbing about a guy who thinks pizza at Foster is impressive. Now, the soft serve ice cream is another story.\n5. Do take girls out. What happened to dinner and the movies? It's an ideal first date. You get to know the girl at dinner and then you have two silent hours to decide if you like her. Avoid Italian restaurants. Spaghetti is bad news. There are some great movies out right now too. Try to stay away from the bloody ones.\n6. Try to avoid getting really drunk in front of the girl you like. Sometimes one too many feelings are revealed when alcohol is involved. And a really drunk guy is a turnoff. \n7. Don't play mind games. If you like her, it's OK to act like you like her. If you don't, it's OK to tell her. \n8. An innocent kiss on the first date is okay. This says that you're interested. If she doesn't kiss you back she has strong morals or she's uninterested. Taking it beyond "first base" is questionable. \n 9. Don't be bashful. It's hard to visualize a relationship with a guy who says three words over dinner. Silent dates are the worst because without talking, it's impossible to tell whether or not you like each other. The worst part is that you actually might be right for one another, but you'll never know if you're not speaking. If you're shy, leave the dinner part out of the date. Movies and large group situations are your saviors. Take advantage of them.\n10. Eye contact is good. We learned this in high school when we talked about communication skills.