Beauty queens have it hard

Being a woman on the IU campus might be one of the most difficult tasks I will ever have to face in my life. From fighting off the constant looks of males to watching others size up the competition, it's enough to make me want a sex change. (OK, no, not really, that was a joke.) But you get my point. \nWomen across campus know what I mean. Bloomington has some of the most beautiful women in the world, and to my knowledge, I am not one of them. So what can an ugly duckling do in such a seemingly disastrous situation? Well, nothing really, other than exercise obsessively and hope that I endure a momentous transformation. Until then, I marvel at the self-discipline and control that these women have, for to be perfect each and every day is quite an accomplishment. Just how do these women do it? \nFirst of all, in order to obtain the title of beauty queen around here, all aspects of outer beauty must be in order (inner beauty is completely out of context). In order to make an 8 a.m. class, the alarm clock must go off at about 7 a.m. to make time for a shower, a session with hair and makeup, and enough time to choose a cute outfit, complete with the perfect trendy accessories. And this is only the beginning.\nNext, the completely-put-together college co-ed must do a variety of things to be (or appear) in control and beautiful. Smile continuously. Be courteous, but not overboard. Walk fast but not too fast. Twirl, twist and move hair every five minutes. Reapply makeup as if attending the Academy Awards. The list goes on.\nFinally, after a hard day of being incredibly attractive, the "perfect" campus queen must put on her party shoes (after completing her homework, of course), attend numerous social functions, and go home with her equally attractive boyfriend.\nYou see, it's not as easy as it may seem. Of course, I would not know anything about this from personal experience. Honestly, being the perfect campus girl doesn't really interest me. On paper, yes, it looks great; I envy everything about her perfect body and voluminous hair. But what about my comfortable sweat pants and the ugly, worn-in T-shirts that I love to wear? And my sleep? God knows I will never be able to wake up an hour before my first class. (Try five minutes.) \nAnd last but not least, if I were to transform myself into one of these beautiful women, in the process, I would lose myself, along with my five-year old sweatshirt and smelly, worn-in New Balances. \nSo the next time you see that enviably gorgeous woman walk by, just be glad that you got to sleep in an extra 30 minutes this morning. Give yourself a pat on the back for being the group member suspected of wearing the same pair of sweat pants every day. Applaud yourself for having gone two days without makeup and one without showering. And secretly smile because you have mastered the art of blending in and appearing ordinary when in fact, you committed yourself to doing just the opposite. Those old T-shirts you have from high school and that semi-ugly hat you wear at least twice a week aren't just fashion statements, they are expressions of you, your individuality, and most importantly, your I-don't-really-care-what-you-think attitude. If this is you, bravo, job well done. If not, hey, we can't all be perfect.