Chivalry 2K(1): Modern manners

So there I was, hiding from the rain in the Stadium White Lot. The wind was blowing, and my poor umbrella just couldn't take it anymore. \nIt snapped and got caught in my hair, and I made a complete idiot of myself for an eternity while a semi-circle of eight men watched silently. After freeing myself and losing my dignity, my umbrella was useless, and I stood there, soaked and getting still wetter. My companions did nothing.\nIt's official. Chivalry is dead.\nIt's a classic opinion page story:\nColumnist goes through tragi-comic ordeal; columnist fumes internally; columnist bends reality with humor and a small amount of insight; columnist writes article and gets paid.\nReaders enjoy column, chuckle inwardly, relate it to their own lives, (hopefully) recycle newspaper and go about their business.\nIf columnist is extremely lucky, reader drops columnist short e-mail. Columnist rejoices.\nThat's the formula for my writing success, and I hope it doesn't happen this time. I hope this column sparks widespread campus action!\nFirst of all, don't think that by chivalry I mean men being overly kind to "helpless" women a la "Gone With the Wind." And I don't think by any means that chivalry is something only men should practice. The Laura Ewald brand of chivalry is more like basic human kindness and common courtesy. And it's decidedly lacking at IU.\nMy companions should not have offered me help or shelter because I am a woman, but because I was a shivering, entangled human being. Had there been eight women on the scene, I would have appreciated help from them, too. \nChivalry 2K(1) is simply becoming more aware that other people are alive on this campus. People with boxes who can't get through doors; people with broken or no umbrellas; men and women a dime short at the vending machine. If we looked around and offered a helping hand more often, surely a warm, fuzzy feeling would permeate Bloomington and make us all happier people.\nHere are a few places to practice campus courtesy:\nBus etiquette\nIn this season of bus overcrowding, public transit politeness is a must. First of all, let others off before you shove your way in. When getting on the bus, please have your change and/or bus pass ready to go. No one likes the poor sap who stands there counting pennies while others are shivering in the snow. Also, fill in from the back to the front! That makes it easier for the unending line of people behind you to find a seat. And for the love of everything holy, only ding the bell for your stop once. Saying "thank you" to the driver is gravy.\nFun with cell phones\nYou're hip, you're in control, you have a cell phone. They're useful on the road and in a pinch. But really, people, are you that important that you need to call your roommate from Ballantine Hall to let her know you'll be home in 10 minutes? Chatting on an otherwise silent bus or elevator is also a definite minus; we don't want to hear what Mary wore to the party last night or how wasted Ted was Saturday.\nOn the road in B-town\nYes, the parking is scarce, the drivers are bad and there are more one-way streets than blades of grass in this town. So please don't state the obvious in a fit of road rage, and keep the obscene gestures to yourself! If there were less Irate Irenes on the road and more Laid-back Larrys, IU would be a better place to live.\nDazzling the ladies\nWhile I've already stated that both genders should freely practice chivalry, I'd just like to point out to guys that acts of consideration are greatly appreciated by the womenfolk these days! Look at chivalry as the icing on the cake: You're a smart, funny, talented and good-looking guy. You're awesome. But if you go the extra mile and open a door here, help a lady with her coat there -- you're James Bond. \nThere you go, kids. Remember, head up, smile and practice that whole "do unto others" thing.