Even if it hurts, the truth must be told

My good friend John Cooper would have been 21 years old two weeks ago.\nBut instead of celebrating a milestone, his family had to blow out the birthday candles by themselves. John and his friend Stacy were both killed the week before we were to graduate from high school, both lives claimed by the combination of high speeds and a lack of seat belts.\nKristin, another friend, miraculously survived the accident and spent months in the hospital learning how to walk again. \nThe investigation into the accident revealed little. All three were thrown from Stacy's Chevy Cavalier, and no one knew who was driving.\nAs Kristin's medical bills piled up higher by the day, John and Stacy's insurance companies started pointing fingers at each other. No one wanted to pay the astronomical costs of rehabilitating a girl in a Tucson, Ariz., hospital. And so, two years later, the case went to trial. The judge had to determine who was driving the car so he could order that insurance company to pay Kristin's expenses.\nIt was bad enough losing two friends, but the legal battle that ensued has only added to the tension and grief of everyone involved. A few days after the accident, John's mom asked me about his driving habits. She was hoping that I would say he was a perfect driver and never sped, but that was not true. Standing there, I looked into the eyes of a woman who had lost her husband to cancer and now her son to an accident, all within five years, and couldn't bring myself to tell the truth.\nWhen the Arizona officials called me up to give my deposition, I came clean. I answered their questions truthfully and to the best of my ability. When the trial came along, my testimony was used and apparently did not help John's family. They lost the case, and it is their insurance company that will pay for Kristin's expenses.\nThe discrepancy between what I told John's mom and what I said in my deposition has created a certain tension that will probably never be eased. It's hard to rebuild a burned bridge, but I'm willing to try.\nI can't help but think of Jack Nicholson's famous line in "A Few Good Men"; "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!" \nI was absolutely positive that John's mom couldn't handle the truth at the time of the accident. She had just lost her son, and my telling her that he was a horrible driver probably would've pushed her over the edge. \nSo instead, I lied. I decided what was best for her, a mistake that I now regret. I guess it's always best to be upfront with people from the beginning. We don't have the power to make decisions for other people, even if we think we know the right thing to do. Lying is such an easy way out. In this case, I knew the truth would be devastating. So I avoided it at all costs. \nAnd now, I'm paying the price for my actions. I can no longer turn to John's family for support, nor can they count on me.\nIt was nearly three years ago that I lost two of my best friends on a desolate stretch of highway in southern Arizona. Losing John and Stacy was a tragedy, but not nearly as big a tragedy as seeing my friends' legacies replaced with dollar signs. I refuse to let my friends be remembered as a trial, a battle between insurance companies. They were far more than that. And though I'll live with the guilt of lying, I'll have a harder time knowing that more than two lives were wrecked that night.