After the election results yesterday, I’m pretty sure historians around the world have been putting together a statement to officially declare Nov. 9 to be one of the unluckiest days in history.
On this day in 1938, the Nazis launched a massive Jewish slaughter known as Kristallnacht, thus foreshadowing the Holocaust. In 1965, an anti-Vietnam War protestor set himself on fire. In 1971, a New Jersey school teacher killed his entire family.
The only real positive thing to ever happen on a Nov. 9 is the fall of the Berlin Wall, and even that feels like mockery now in a nation about to build its very own giant border wall.
The rest of the world, minus those who supported Donald Trump in this election, is no giddier about the results of the polls. Hollywood was very vocal about their opinions of the elections, before and after the future president was chosen.
“I said BREATHE. (I am talking to myself too, y’know),” former “Hamilton” star Lin-Manuel Miranda tweeted.
“Someone give me hope,” comedian Sarah Silverman tweeted.
“This is an embarrassing night for America,” actor Chris Evans tweeted. “We’ve let a hatemonger lead our great nation. We’ve let a bully set our course. I’m devastated.”
You hear that, my fellow Americans? Captain America himself has abandoned you.
Why? Because that merciless, fear-mongering demagogue and his misogynistic, homophobic lackey Mike Pence are the most unpatriotic men who have ever run in a presidential election.
Richard Nixon may have killed the American Dream, but Trump birthed the Amerikkkan Dream. Welcome to fascism.
“No more book recommendations, politics, or amusing dog pictures for the immediate future,” Stephen King tweeted. “I’m shutting down.”
Now, you know it’s bad when the master of the macabre is too horrified to comment on this election. Killer clowns, rapid dogs and zombie pets are child’s play compared to anything that happened in 2016.
Fortunately, there were some celebrities who managed to see humor in this madness.
“I watched Frozen without my two year old this morning,” actor Ryan Reynolds tweeted. “Despair reveals itself in many forms.”
“Somewhere tonight there’s a little, racist, narcissistic, woman-hating, Jew-baiting kid who now knows that he can grow up to be President,” actor Joshua Malina tweeted.
“I’m building a wall over my pussy,” comedian Morgan Murphy tweeted.
Of course, you laugh because it’s funny, but for women living in Indiana, there is much to be feared.
Electing Todd Young and Eric Holcomb has essentially dropped a nuclear bomb on Hoosier womanhood.
You think we live in a patriarchy now? Honey, just you wait.
However, not all women were supporters of Hillary Clinton in this election. Rapper Azealia Banks went on a Facebook rant about how happy she is about Trump’s victory.
“Real motherfuckers rejoice,” she said in one status. “We beat the liberal media! Grab me by the pussy! ITS A CELEBRATION BITCHES!”
My God. Your misogyny almost makes me want to apologize to Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer. Almost.
Fortunately, there have been some stars who have served as a guiding light in this time of great darkness.
“It’s like being in prison,” notorious feminist punk band Pussy Riot tweeted. “Dramatic at the beginning. But then you start to figure out how to live and create in prison. You’ll overcome.”
“Today I weep for our beloved country,” country star Melissa Etheridge tweeted. “I do my best to explain to my children. Now let’s roll up our sleeves... there’s work to do. #love”
I don’t know about you, but the hairs on the back of my neck stand whenever I read that last sentence. Maybe we can overcome.
“It’s a beautiful country,” Stephen Colbert said on his Showtime special last night. “We’re all going to be all right.”
The next four years are not going to be easy to overcome. But as one of my favorite presidents, John F. Kennedy, once said, we shouldn’t do things because they are easy, but because they are hard.
This country was not founded by sitting around and simply complaining about what our government is doing. We did not become independent from a mad tyrant by arguing with him.
America was built by fighters, thinkers and lovers. So whether you are black, Muslim, Latino, disabled or anything else Trump has attacked, know you have the power to fight back. Know you are so much more than your government.
Joan of Arc didn’t give up. Mahatma Ghandi didn’t give up. George Washington didn’t give up. Neither should you.
Good luck and God bless.
