In the midst of these dark and dreary months full of groutfits and hitting the snooze button too many times, I thought I’d take the time to talk about the most important meal of the day: breakfast.
No, I am not your mom, and yes, I am a millennial telling you, dedicated reader, to pop those highly caloric freezer-burned foods into your toaster. Or buy a dozen eggs because you probably don’t have them in your refrigerator. Go crazy and get some sausage patties too.
What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV? We’ve lost sight of the Mecca of morning cuisine.
We’re too busy catching buses, getting the mumps or sleeping in. “Almost 40 percent of the millennials surveyed by Mintel for its 2015 report said cereal was an inconvenient breakfast choice because they had to clean up after eating it,” the New York Times reported.
People always make fun of me for dividing my milk and cereal in separate bowls for the obvious reason of impending sogginess. God forbid I have to wash not one bowl, but two. And don’t even get me started with the spoon.
Millennials are the generation of ultimate laziness. The only Rice Krispies we eat are in treats, and the only flakes we have are from that three-ingredient honey mustard corn-flake chicken recipe we found on BuzzFeed.
We have single-handedly changed the way so many industries operate. Just take a look at restaurants. They are now outsourcing meals to delivery companies like Seamless and BtownMenus. We have managed to have gourmet hot food delivered to our door without lifting a pinky.
Our lives are commodified into conveniences, and breakfast clearly isn’t a part of the equation anymore.
“What’s your favorite part about breakfast?” “Coffee,” one of my friends replied.
What about Starbucks? you might ask. What about avocados, deemed ‘the Oprah of Instagram,’ by ManRepeller?
Starbucks is for your sleep-deprived espresso shot needs, and Oprah is there for pure entertainment. Except for that one time on the B bus I saw a girl eating an avocado like a kiwi, but I digress.
“Most studies have shown that breakfast eaters tend to have lower BMIs than breakfast skippers,” according to Kellogg’s nutrition newsletter. If a spring-break bod doesn’t excite you into eating breakfast, I don’t know what will.
This is a call to action. We need to put the break back into breakfast. By break, I mean eggs, bananas, melon, granola, yogurt, strawberries and bacon — whatever floats your morning boat.
Take that extra fifteen minutes to satisfy your breakfast needs. Everyone deserves to be a champion.
jlkarl@indiana.edu
@jkarl26
