I never keep my New Year’s resolutions.
By Jan. 7, I start biting my nails again and skipping workouts. By Jan. 20, I stopped going to bed early and substituted that with staying up studying, and the omnipresent cup of tea lives at my desk.
None of that really matters in the long run, though. In the long run, not working out for one day or having an extra cup of tea will not do much. What does matter is happiness though, which is why my resolution for 2016 is smiling.
Looking at my conversations with my friends, I realized how much of it was complaining.
“I’m so stressed.” “I hate my teacher.” “My 8 a.m. is the worst.” All of these are valid concerns.
Stress is a real problem for college students, especially with anxiety levels hitting all-time highs in recent years.
Venting can be helpful sometimes, even though it can actually increase feelings of anger instead of release them. The New York Times cited a study on unemployed engineers conducted by social psychologist Dr. Tavris. It found venting lead to the unemployed workers becoming angrier about their situation and their employers.
Dr. Leo Madow, a psychoanalyst at the Institute of the Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia, found that workers who were encouraged to reveal all of their problems with their coworkers ended up having disastrous results on their respective companies.
All venting seems to be doing is hurting our relations with others.
Personally, when I complain, I don’t feel better. Instead, I feel more stressed because I’m ignoring what I’m supposed to be doing in favor of complaining about something that I can’t change. Yet, I still do it because it’s socially acceptable to do. It’s a way to communicate with others.
Instead of feeling closer to people, I just feel tired and unmotivated.
This year, I didn’t make life-changing decisions. There were no plans to run a 10k, wake up at 6 a.m. or finally like the taste of coffee. There was nothing about going to bed earlier or not procrastinating. There was just one line written on a post-it note: smile more.
Well 25 days in, I can say that I may not be 20 pounds lighter, but I feel better.
Actively trying to smile is awkward at first. Walking around with a smile on my face is weird, and I don’t feel comfortable when everyone has a straight face in return.
However, I’m finding reasons to smile more easily. Stupid puns, comments in class and even the people on the streets all provoke some type of smile.
And for a while, it was awkward, but honestly my day feels better even better when I get a smile back. Knowing that I caused that smile is gratifying in a way that makes the type-A result-seeker in me excited.
At the end of the year, I won’t have a selfie with toned arms and legs. I won’t be able to show off my long nails or my impressive trumpet skills. But I will be able to say that I tried to make 2016 the happiest year of my life, and that in itself is gratifying.
