The stage was set for the 2016 presidential debate. The moderator stood poised in a suit and tie as he welcomed the candidates to the stage.
“The winner of the Democratic primary election is Senator Bernie Sanders,” he said, and the crowd erupted in cheers.
“The winner of the Republican primary is Miss Carly Fiorina,” he said to more clapping and whoops.
However, the Bernie who walked on stage was not the balding Vermont Senator but a blond 11th grader named Naomi Gorman, and the Carly standing opposite was not the former chief executive of Hewlett-Packard, but Anisa Curry-Vietze, a wide-eyed 10th grader with a red dress.
A hush fell over the crowd of barefooted fourth graders, antsy kindergartners and elementary students sitting cross-legged on the floor of the Harmony School gym.
“The World Today” is the high school class responsible for organizing the Harmony School Mock Election.
For months, the students in the class have been researching the candidate they would impersonate on stage. They didn’t all share the views of the candidate they were eventually assigned, but in the debates they would act as though they did.
There was a Hillary, who was a bit miffed about the primary loss but said she was unsurprised by the results due to the hyper-liberal demographic the Harmony School is known for.
There was a Trump, 12th grader Ciabhan Connely, eyes nearly obscured by a messy orange wig.
“I believe that, without me as president, this country will continue to plummet into a lawless dystopia,” he said.
After weeks of campaigning with posters saying things like #immi-great-ion, stump speeches and subtle bribery — candy and cookies distributed in the school hallways — these two real-world front-runners had been eliminated.
A Ben Carson with dreadlocks, a Jeb Bush still sporting a full head of brown hair, a long-haired Ted Cruz, a paler version of Marco Rubio, a mustached John Kasich, a slimmed-down Chris Christie and Rand Paul minus the signature curly mop also ran losing campaigns in the eyes of their fellow students.
On Tuesday morning it was down to the final two. The moderator, 12th grader Ryan Bredemeyer, was ready to tackle the serious issues.
A question on important challenges facing America sparked a heated debate on the benefits of socialism.
“Socialism doesn’t incentivize people to work,” Curry-Vietze, or Fiorina, said. “If we’re going to stay the superpower of the world, we need to work.”
“Excuse me Miss Fiorina, I don’t think you understand what socialism is,” Gorman, or Sanders, replied. “It’s people working for what they get and getting what they deserve.”
Curry-Vietze lamented the “web of dependence” trapping Americans. Gorman advocated for free college education and raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour.
Climate change was also a hot topic. Curry-Vietze recognized the realness of the issue but said it was “over-hyped.”
Gorman said she would implement clean energy laws and create jobs by building environmentally friendly infrastructure.
When the moderator opened up questioning to the audience, children as young as ten lined up in front of the stage to ask questions.
“How do you feel about the water level rising?”
“What are your opinions on gun rights?”
“How much money do you want to make for America?”
“How do you feel about gay marriage?”
In response to this last question, fake Fiorina said she was not a fan but wouldn’t reverse the Supreme Court’s ruling if elected.
“I very much am happy that love won,” fake Sanders said to supportive cheers from the children.
After the closing statements, students voted behind cardboard ballot boxes in a classroom.
One of the second-graders manning the polls encouraged a voter to choose Bernie because that’s who his parents like.
“Henry,” his co-worker chided. “You’re not supposed to help them choose.”
Once every student from sixth grade classes and older had cast their ballots and been marked with an “I Voted” sticker, the second and first graders began to count.
The gym refilled and the results were brought to the stage.
The Mock President now presiding over Harmony School is ...
Bernie Sanders.
Once again, cheers erupted. Even the tiniest children seemed to “Feel the Bern.”
Even the losing candidates seemed happy with their new faux commander in chief.
They don’t think the results are realistic, they said. They suspect the actual Hillary Clinton will probably win when 2016 arrives.
For some of the students, this will be the first presidential election they can vote in. They said the exercise helped them feel prepared.
Though both the final candidates displayed a knack for debating, only Curry-Vietze expressed an interest in pursuing a political career.
“I’d always thought of politics as kind of hopeless,” she said. “Now? I don’t know.”
