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Thursday, May 16
The Indiana Daily Student

arts

Above average: pleasing a partner with more than just size

Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute and the IU School of Public Health. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at kinseyconfidential.org.

I am 20 years old and my penis size is 6 inches long when erect. Is that good?

I don’t think of penis size as “good” or “bad” — the penis is just another body part.

If you’re wondering how your size compares to other men, I can tell you this — your erect penis is longer than average by about half an inch.

Many men would love to have a six-inch penis and, if you are sexually active with women or men, most people will find a six-inch penis to be more than sufficient in terms of its capacity to provide sensation inside of them.

But that’s about all a penis can do on its own — be felt in a vagina, anus, mouth or inside a partner’s hands. To create satisfying sexual experiences takes more than a penis or vagina of a certain size.

Scientific research on sexuality tends to find one of the most important aspects of sexual pleasure is intimacy, or how connected two people feel toward one another. Although many people have fun, satisfying or exciting experiences of casual sex, more often people say sex with someone they like a lot or who they are in love with is the most satisfying.

As you explore your capacity for relationships and sexual experiences, try to get to know other people for who they are.

If you have sex with people you don’t know very well, at least try to care about them as human beings. Find out what makes them feel funny, smart, sexy or otherwise appealing to you. Try to be yourself and be honest about what you like or don’t like — not just in sex, but also what kinds of foods or movies or books or hobbies you enjoy.

Those are the first steps toward getting to know one another and how two people find out the ways they are similar or different and what’s appealing about being together. Technique matters a little, too, so you might like learning about different ways to pleasure a partner.

Check out books like “Great in Bed,” “Sex Made Easy,” “Moregasm” or “The Men’s Health Big Book of Sex.” Mostly, however, reading books about sex may help you feel more comfortable thinking and talking about sex, which may make it easier for you to talk to future partners about sex, share what you like and ask them what they might like to experience in bed.

Comfortable communication about sex will make for way better sex than just penis size.

You can also learn more about sexuality and become more comfortable with the topic by taking a human sexuality class — they are often offered through public health, psychology or sociology departments, but they may be in other departments too.

Debby Herbenick is an associate professor at IU’s School of Public Health and a research fellow and sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute. She’s the author of six books about sex. Her newest is “The Coregasm Workout.” Follow Kinsey Confidential on Twitter @KinseyCon and visit us online at www.kinseyconfidential.org.

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