Patriarchy is the ocean we swim in

A 22-year-old self-described “involuntary celibate,” or incel, shot and killed six people and then himself Friday.
Prior to the shooting, he posted a video describing his plan on YouTube and wrote a 141-page woman-hating manifesto. Later, three more people were found stabbed to death in his apartment.

Obviously his access to weaponry as a severely disturbed individual is unacceptable.
So is the attitude that motivated the killings — an attitude in which every member of our society is complicit.

A study released in late 2013 indicates the majority of mass murderers act to protect their identity of hegemonic masculinity. The University of California Santa Barbara shooter is no different.

His manifesto reads like it was ripped from reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/.
Women, fickle creatures that we are, refused to have sex with a “gentleman” like him, punishing him for being too nice.
Apparently, when women don’t have sex with every man in sight, we fail to fulfill our entire reason for being.

Forty percent of mass murderers start with their girlfriends, their ex-girlfriends or their wives.

Make no mistake — what happened Friday was an act of terrorism, and it was not an isolated act.

Friday’s shooter joins the likes of Christopher Plaskon, who stabbed Maren Sanchez to death for denying his prom invitation.
He joins the likes of Marc Lepine, who massacred 14 people at Montreal’s Ecole Polytechnique in the name of “fighting feminism.”
He joins the thousands of men who kill their female partners each year.
These women make up one-third of all female murder victims.
The shooter joins the hate groups that bomb women’s health clinics and murder our health care providers.

We don’t call violence against women terrorism because women are supposed to be terrified.
Terrified of seeking health care, terrified of walking at night, terrified of saying no.
Fear, after all, is an effective tool of control.

To insist that Friday’s terrorist attack is an isolated incident of a sick individual is to be deluded.
He found support for his violent convictions online, where he took the ideology of men’s rights activists and anti-pick-up artists to their logical conclusion.
Not every misogynist commits violence against women, but every misogynist condones it.

Even after, some corners of the Internet continue to insist that his actions were heroic.
They say more women should pity-fuck the incels in their lives to protect themselves.
Because women are to blame for any violence committed against them, including murder.
That’s what we get for straying from our role as sex object, blonde bimbo No. 1, 2 or 3.

These attitudes aren’t limited to extremist Internet forums.
They’re positions men in our lives have, and they’re freely expressed if given the chance.
One man flirting with me at a bar explained that women who stay in domestically violent relationships are asking to get hit.
This was a man hoping that if he played his cards right he might get laid. And this was a card he felt comfortable playing.

Everyone is complicit in the attitudes of masculinity that encourage men like the UCSB shooter to act.

“Stop being a pussy.” “Man up.” “Don’t be such a girl.”
Macho man is the ultimate ideal, and woman is an insult.
Misogyny is heavy in the air we breathe.

We refuse to call acts like this terrorism because common cultural narratives have linked violence to love.
Love is supposed to be tumultuous and painful. It instills heartache.
He pulls your pigtails because he likes you. He only hits me because he loves me so much.

Apparently, killing a woman doesn’t count as much as killing a man.
Our laws agree.

Women who kill their male partners in self-defense get an average of 15 years in prison. Men who kill their female partners in a jealous rage get two to six years.

After all, she was asking for it.

A men’s rights activist once asked me why I feel so oppressed. This is why.

casefarr@indiana.edu