Deafening silence

Jay’s backpack is black. Duct tape is wrapped in strips near the bottom and ribbons with owls adorn the sides. His rock climbing shoes hang from the side of his backpack, ready for his next adventure.

There are pictures and letters from Jay’s friends and family hanging from a carabiner and stuffed inside of his backpack, but he won’t see them. Jay won’t be coming to claim his backpack. His family sculpted it to be part of the Send Silence Packing exhibit after he committed suicide.

Send Silence Packing, an exhibit of 1,100 backpacks representing the 1,100 college students who die by suicide annually, was displayed Tuesday in the Arboretum. The backpacks, and the stories tied to them, are meant to start the conversation about mental health, and hopefully to save lives in the process.

Sean Mahoney, junior and president of the Bloomington chapter of Active Minds, placed each individual’s backpack outside with volunteers.

“Send Silence Packing is all about awareness,” he said.

Active Minds is a national organization with a Bloomington-based chapter that aims to eliminate the stigma of mental illness.

Though Mahoney has been working with Active Minds for three years, this is the first time he has seen the display in person.

“It’s definitely very impacting for me, taking out one backpack for one college student,” he said.

Mahoney said mental health is a topic that doesn’t get enough attention. He said he hopes the display will help people realize the magnitude of the situation.

“We’re working to end the stigma with mental health,” Mahoney said.

***

Psychology professor Irene Vlachos-Weber is the faculty sponsor for Bloomington Active Minds. She has worked with Active Minds for only about a month, but this is not her first exposure to suicide awareness.

Suicide, in a way, shaped her career.

“When I was a junior in high school, one of my best friends killed herself,” Vlachos-Weber said, taking a break from unloading backpacks onto the grass.

Her friend Lynn was 16 when she committed suicide, and, at the time, she was dating Vlachos-Weber’s brother. 
 
It inspired her to begin studying mental health and psychology.

Looking out at the backpacks, she said there is an inherent power to this kind of message.

“Just looking at these stories is absolutely heartrending,” she said.

Vlachos-Weber said students should not hesitate to reach out to someone they think is in need, even if they are nervous about it.

“Don’t be afraid to ask somebody if they’re in pain,” she said.

She explained the pain that she talks about is more psychological than anything else.
 
“When a person’s in a suicidal crisis, they’re not thinking straight,” she said. “It’s not that they want to die, but they want the pain to stop.”

She said people sometimes think suicide will not only end their pain, but will also keep those around them from suffering.

“It’s very isolating,” Vlachos-Weber said, a self-described victim of depression.

Very few people commit suicide selfishly, she said. They just don’t know it’s not a solution to whatever problem they are facing.

The backpacks tell the stories of people of different ages. Seeing their stories on display is intended to make people realize there is a problem.

“It communicates a loud message very quietly,” Vlachos-Weber said.

***

In collaboration with Active Minds, psychologist Chris Meno worked to set up backpacks and help run the depression screening offered at the display.

“The number one cause of suicide is untreated depression,” Meno said.

She said she wanted the stigma against mental health to be stopped and students to learn the signs of depression so they can help friends.

Most people know of someone who has died by suicide, Meno said.

Sophomore Margaret Hensley is a member of the Crimson Corps, a group at IU Health Center that uses peer-to-peer support, advocacy and outreach to promote mental well-being on campus.

Depression screenings are offered about once a semester, she said, and can be for anyone, regardless of whether they’re struggling with their emotions or feeling perfectly healthy.

“It screens some of the signs and symptoms of depression,” Hensley said.

After participants answer 10 questions, their responses are reviewed. If necessary, participants receive literature or have immediate conversations with members of CAPS, she said.

Hensley said even if you feel healthy, seeing people participating might encourage people who are unsure about being screened to step forward. She said she encourages all people to participate.

As she acknowledged the people slowing down to look closer at the backpacks lining the sidewalks, Hensley said she was happy.

“Everybody is stopping and looking,” Hensley said. “The main goal is raising awareness.”

***

Senior Sean Vann said he saw the bags, and, since he had time, stopped.

Upon realizing what he was seeing, Vann could only say, “Wow, that’s crazy.”  

He looked around.

“Something needs to be done to stop this,” he said.

He continued to stare at all the bags.

“Everybody has a family, I mean, they affect the family,” he said.

Brandon Doman, a member of the Active Minds National Office, travels with the display to college campuses throughout the United States.

All the bags were given to the group by friends and family members of those who have committed suicide, he said.

Some backpacks, like Jay’s, were the students’ actual backpacks. Others were donated.

One mother sent in her daughter’s backpack with a picture and a note.

The note read that her daughter, Michelle, was 23 and a college athlete at the time of her suicide.

A picture captioned “Me and Mikey” sits on another pack, telling readers that Mikey killed himself two weeks before he turned 24.

“Forty-four percent of college students have felt so depressed it was hard to function,” a sign near his backpack said.

Of all the stories on display, Doman said he noticed a theme — friends and family rarely saw the suicide coming.

They were often shocked by what happened, and generally found stigma about
mental health kept the victim from talking, he said.

“We want people to know that there’s people out there talking about mental health,” he said.

***

Lauren Redding, communications coordinator for Active Minds, said the organization was founded in 2003 by current director Alison Malmon following the loss of her brother to suicide.

What started as a kind of support group in Malmon’s dorm room became a national nonprofit after she graduated.

Redding said there are currently 400 chapters nationwide.

This is Send Silence Packing’s seventh tour, she said. Both fall and spring tours are completed, and next year’s tours for both semesters have already been booked.

“It’s a really incredible visual,” she said. “This display really sends the message home.”

She said Active Minds is constantly receiving new stories from loved ones and new backpacks to display them in, and to replace the ones that have become weathered throughout time.

“We just have a constant stream of backpacks coming in,” she said.

She said this kind of display is vital to suicide prevention, because most students will tell a friend, significant other or roommate before they’ll tell a doctor or even their families. Send Silence Packing is about student education, Redding said.

“Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students,” she said.

Redding said she hopes Send Silence Packing will lower that statistic and help keep people from suffering in silence. It has a kind of ripple effect, she said.

“It is a really great conversation starter for students on campuses,” she said.