Our picks for this years Little 500 concert

Every year, the Union Board campaigns to bring big names to perform at the annual Little 500 concert, and each year we get our hopes up for something epic.
This year's prospects are no different, from the totally exciting (Ke$ha!) to the totally ridiculous (Pitbull?).
The Editorial Board came together to rank the potential Little 500 concerts from awesome but unlikely, pretty good and more likely, mildly offensive, and completely out of the question.

Kanye West
The chances Yeezus brings the good word to IU? Slim to none. Because, let’s be honest, we aren’t good enough for Kanye. After all, he is God.

Ke$ha
We can all just agree this would be the absolute best Little Five concert ever. Like, actually ever. Ke$ha embodies everything the week of Little Five stands for — debauchery, sleaze, glitter, skimpy clothing and all-American fun. We implore you, Union Board, make this happen. We’ll never complain about Sublime again.

Drake
Sure, he’ll always be Jimmy from “Degrassi: The Next Generation” to us. But Drake’s become one of the best rappers in the game with four hit albums and countless chart-topping singles, so it’s highly unlikely we’re going to get him for Little Five.

A$AP Rockey
“Fuckin’ Problems” was one of the best songs we heard in 2013, and it would be a fucking problem if we didn’t get A$AP for Little Five this year. He isn’t huge enough to turn down performing in Assembly Hall, so this one might actually be in he cards for us. Here’s hoping.

Vampire Weekend
The foursome has played in Bloomington before, so making an appearance for Little Five isn’t out of the question. But hot off the success of their most critically adored album, “Modern Vampires of the City,” they might be a little too busy to make a stop in Hoosier Nation.

Frank Ocean
“Channel Orange” was one of the most critically-acclaimed albums of 2012. Which was why it was exciting when rumors of a Frank Ocean Little Five concert started swirling ... last year. It would still be pretty cool this year, but the buzz has died down.

Childish Gambino
Now that Donald Glover isn’t busy starring in “Community,” he’s got plenty of time to perform at this year’s Little Five concert. But, to be honest, he wouldn’t be all that exciting. The hipsters would rejoice, but that rest of us might want to stay home instead.

Icona Pop
We don’t care, we love it! We could all go crazy if the Swedish dance duo graced Assembly Hall with its presence for Little Five. But we’re not sure they have any other songs to play besides that one we all know. At least it would be one wild 2 1/2 minute ride.

Lana Del Rey
Yes, Lana Del Rey is the distant beauty pageant queen pop music needed. Her sultry low voice and blank stare would make for a distinctive Little Five concert experience, but it’s not like anyone turns up for Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey at Lollapalooza? Yes. Lana Del Rey at Little Five? Not so much.

John Mayer
Mayer’s dude-with-a-guitar-and-feelings mantra has no place at Little Five. His songs are boring and they haven’t been relevant since the mid-2000s. If by some curse of the gods we get saddled with Mayer, maybe he’ll at least bring his girlfriend, Katy Perry. Now there’s a girl who could put on a Little Five concert.

fun.
Oh, please no. Fun’s Broadway-style pop and groan-inducing anthems have no place at this year’s Little Five festivities. If we have to hear “We Are Young” or “Carry On” one more time, we’re going to lose it.

Pitbull
This would just be a joke.
Nobody wants Pitbull for Little Five, and if they do, they should be expelled from IU. Pitbull is allowed to come only if Ke$ha performs and she needs him for “Timber.”

Where's Iggy?
It’s depressing to think no one on Union Board suggested Iggy Azalea, that rapping Barbie from Down Under, for the Little Five concert. Azalea could wipe the floor with Nicki Minaj, one of 2011’s Little Five performers. If you haven’t heard of her, YouTube “Pu$$y” or “Work” right now. We’ll be surprised if you don’t petition Union Board to get Azalea here immediately.