Flipping flapjacks in the sky

As Bloomington residents we’ve seen quite a few restaurants come and go.

We’ve seen Pita Pit empty its pockets and leave town. We’ve also seen Eddie Met Salad break up with Salad and leave Salad in the gutter somewhere behind Starbucks.

But no restaurant death is harder to handle than Bloomington’s beloved staple, Waffle House.

Today, the kitschy classic will iron its final waffle, and bid adieu to Bloomington in order to make way for a five story building that will include commercial space on the first floor and residential space on the upper floors — an unworthy replacement.

What many people never knew is the fact that Waffle House defiantly spit in the face of Corporate America.

Bloomington’s own Waffle House has been Mom and Pop owned for about 50 years — it’s just that no one really knows that fact because the eatery chose to be named after one of America’s most famous breakfast chains.

The establishment has well-prepared itself for its closure. Manager Larry Prince said most employees have plans lined up for when the House goes down.

But can we ever prepare ourselves?

Although Bloomington has an almost innumerable amount of breakfast spots around town, none have quite the flair for grease like Waffle House.

Sure, Uptown Café and Farm Bloomington are delicious, but they’re also the bougiest of the bourgeoisie.

But all we can do now is thank you for the memories, Waffle House.

Thank you for giving us true Midwestern food, mostly endless plates consisting of monochromatic, golden-brown goodness.

Thank you for housing our drunken selves and letting us sleep for hours on your toasty toilets. Your maintenance workers only slightly judged us.

Thank you for never judging when we brought in our own Reese’s Pieces and other mix-ins for our pancakes. Your servers handled our requests for personalization with dignity and honor.

But most of all, thank you for providing us with breakfast any time we wanted it — a right our forefathers died for.

Go indulge in one last breakfast feast, Bloomington, but hurry! Prince said the restaurant will close around 3:00 pm, which, incidentally, is the time that many believe Jesus died.

­— opinion@idsnews.com
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