Thoughts about home

My departure from home after Thanksgiving break wasn’t easy. I said goodbye to my family and my beloved geriatric golden retriever, and I had to bid yet another farewell to my long-distance girlfriend.

I thought about my changing attitudes toward being at university and being away from home. My experiences in this area can be roughly divided into three eras.

1. “I don’t want to live in a cornfield.”

Until I came to Bloomington, I had only ever lived in the suburbs of Chicago.

I was afraid there would be nothing to do here, and all the people would be farmers and country folk who had never been beyond their cornfield/limestone quarry. Of course, I was mostly wrong on that account.

I know campus is different from other places, yet I have found great people, plenty of great activities and opportunities and an interesting culture all around me. This idea leads us to my next phase.

2. My Mellencamp phase

After spending a year or so on campus, I didn’t want to go back home. I was unhappy whenever I went back for breaks.

I was frustrated I couldn’t walk to places at home. I thought city people were phony. My favorite Bloomington restaurants were calling my name whenever I left.

I had started to think through a paradigm something like John Mellencamp’s song “Small Town,” which I heard during my drive as I pulled onto College Avenue. Those thoughts began to shift again as I entered the third era of thinking.

3. Delayed homesickness

It would be logical to think homesickness would occur when students first come to university. Often, it’s the first time they are away from home for an extended period.

As I said above, though, those feelings were not too strong for me during my first two years here. I missed a few aspects of being home, but for the most part I was totally happy with my life at IU.

Why, then, am I experiencing these feelings now, halfway through my junior year?

Maybe it’s the realization that my hometown will always be my home. Maybe it’s that I realize my parents are right more often than I thought. Maybe it’s because my dog is getting gray, and the only girl for me lives three hours away.

The academic part of me loves it here on campus, but the sentimental part is dissatisfied.

My opinions about Bloomington and about home have evolved. Both places have shaped me, and both are special to me.

­— estahr@indiana.edu