Our sexual stigma

Passing out hundreds of condoms on campus as I have, you get an interesting, albeit unscientific, snapshot of campus sex-positivity. Unfortunately, the picture is not encouraging. The process usually goes like this:

At first you’re embarrassed. You’ve got to give all of these sex gloves to strangers. It’s even worse if that dude from your business class passes by. “Hey business dude,” you think, “Don’t mind me, just trying to encourage safe sex, you know.”

Then you get some encouragement from passersby who are really excited about free condoms. They usually make some crude joke after taking a handful and high five their friends to show how virile they are. Still, these potential sex-havers reinvigorate you.

You’re giving away condoms with catchy “get consent” stickers on the wrappers, and you are proud.

But no distribution would be complete without the people who go to the effort to return your gift of contraception. They are downright offended that you would ever hand them a piece of latex covered in lube.

All of these reactions reflect societal discomfort with sex even though it is a necessary, natural process without which most of us would not exist. Those distributing condoms are often half-hearted and embarrassed because, despite our own attempts at sex-positivity, we are acutely aware of being judged.

The enthusiastic groups have to make sex a joke to be OK with it. The final group seems to think that by handing them a condom, I am accusing them of being immoral sex fiends who cannot control themselves. The roots of these attitudes are complicated, but I suspect Indiana’s abstinence-only sex education policy is partially to blame.

Abstinence-only education is problematic because it does not work. It encourages a deep-seated fear of sex. Instead of putting condoms on bananas, my high school health class looked at an STD slideshow, watched a video of a woman giving birth, and were told if we had sex before marriage, we would be broken shells of people.

Yes, sex can lead to both STDs and pregnancy, but these effects are not inevitable, especially if you know how to properly put on a condom. Instead of getting us to wait, abstinence-only sex education tells us we are bad people because we have totally normal impulses to do it.

It makes us ashamed to ask for contraception for fear of harsh judgment.

­— casefarr@indiana.edu