'The Bachelor': better than family therapy

In 2002, I was a metal-mouthed seventh grader living with my 30-something single mom. We didn’t agree on much at the time, but there was one show on television that brought us together in a way no family therapy session ever could: ABC’s “The Bachelor.”

Perhaps because of the pedigreed nature of the men selected for the show, critics have deemed “The Bachelor,” and its subsequent spin-off, “The Bachelorette,” “the Cadillac of reality dating shows.”

In spite of its vast success, the show’s producers have faced criticism for its lack of diversity and its portrayal of women as vapid and desperate.

However, women continue to tune in to “The Bachelor” season after season.

This compulsion to watch leads me to my question: Why are women, myself included, so entranced by a show that promotes such an unrealistic ideal of love?

This summer, my mom and I continued our tradition of watching “The Bachelor” franchise together every week — this time around, to watch dental student Ashley Hebert get a second shot at love after being rejected on the previous season of show.

As always, the premise was the same, but something about this season
was different.

My mother had just begun a new relationship, and after watching about 20 minutes of the show, she would leave the room to talk on the phone with her new beau.

At first, I was offended — sure, Ashley’s incessant giggling was annoying, but didn’t my mom want to find out what happened with JP, the adorably dimpled construction manager from New York? Or what about my personal favorite — Ames, the investment banker with no less than five Ivy League degrees?

Didn’t she want watch and see who won Ashley’s heart in the end?

But then I realized my mother had found something that trumped any reality television relationship — a real connection with a real person who lived in the real world.

Until I’m ready for that, I’ll have to settle for the closest reality I can get. You can find me on the couch at 8 p.m. Mondays this January.

­— ellethom@indiana.edu