Norse god little more than flash

As if superhero movies weren’t overblown enough, here’s the bombastically overacted and extravagant “Thor,” starring none other than the Norse God of Thunder. If you thought Robert Downey Jr.’s ego was as big as Iron Man, wait until you see the one on the hulking and indestructible alien that helms this movie.

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is the prince of a sparkling land in another area of the cosmos called Asgard. For eons, they’ve protected the galaxy and maintained order, leading the Scandinavian humans back in ancient times to revere them as deities. Now the throne must pass from King Odin (Anthony Hopkins) to Thor, but when he tries to wage war on their sworn enemies, the frost giants, he is rightly banished to Earth.
We spend a long time on Asgard, yet the existence of this place and the CGI that depict it are self-serving, looking good only as an excuse for extravagance, because the people that live and act on it are the same cocky, privileged, one-dimensional characters we would find on Earth.

I had no reason to care about the spectacular mayhem that could ensue there. “Thor” wastes more time on this fantasy world and its mythology than I care to count.
It’s only when Thor is banished to Earth and meets an astrophysicist, played by Natalie Portman, do things get remotely interesting. This proves once again that, like everything else, movies that star Natalie Portman are inherently more entertaining.
Thor’s loud and boisterous fish-out-of-water routine on the humble blue planet gets old as soon as it starts. This strikingly good-looking, shirtless brute of a man demands meat and coffee, and as confused as they are, Portman and her sidekick Kat Dennings can’t help but go rosy in his presence.

It’s remarkably corny and countered only with more strictly serious scenes on Asgard along with armor-clad warriors talking in 15th century English.

With that, “Thor” marks possibly the silliest comic book put to film to date.

There is not a moment of “Thor” that does not seem overblown to the level expected of a clichéd Viking, be it the performances, the cinematography, the CGI, the battles or the Marvel Easter eggs.

Writing that this movie is terrible is not enough to attract attention away from this monstrosity. I’d have to yell and beat something with a hammer before anyone listened.