Column: Looking back to Lunchables

Lunchables. I do not care how childish I look when I eat them. They are wonderful.

My mom was not a big fan of me eating Lunchables when I was younger, and I understand why. They’re a bunch of processed foods filled with all sorts of things that shouldn’t naturally go into my body. But that didn’t stop me from loving them at all.

I feel like Lunchables were one of those food items that determined your social status in grade school. The cool kids brought Lunchables. The kids who had the really awesome parents, who would bring in the best birthday snacks, brought Lunchables.
Given the fact that I considered myself an outcast throughout school, I was desperate for a way to be accepted. Lunchables seemed to be the key.  

To give my mom some credit, though, most of my favorite grade school lunches were made and packed by hand.  

Do you remember how trading Lunchables used to be on par with trading for dessert? Or chips? Or everything that you could scrounge up for that cool kid at lunch that day?
I remember all the types, too. There were the classic sub sandwiches and cracker combinations. I always liked the ones with the cheddar and turkey.

The sub sandwich was always weird to me, though, because it came with mayonnaise that didn’t really taste like mayonnaise. It was too sweet. Maybe I’m the only one who thought that.

The Tex-Mex Lunchables were fun too — nachos with salsa and cheese as well as the tacos. They don’t make the tacos anymore, or maybe I just can’t find them. It did seem weird to me that you could sell tacos like that.

And then, of course, my favorite: the pizzas.

Lunchable pizzas have been one of those strange foods that have helped me get through college. There’s just something so comforting about the cracker-like pizza crusts, sweet tomato sauce and the shredded cheeses.  

Granted, it’s not the same as my childhood. I remember the pepperonis having a much different texture, more like a processed meat and with less spices. Now the pepperonis are trying to be like real pepperonis.

And there is no longer a red stick you can use to spread your pizza sauce on the crust. I actually found a fan page devoted to the Lunchables red pizza sauce stick, and there’s a fictional story that goes along in the basic info. It’s quite clever, even if overdramatic.
Also, Tombstone no longer distributes the pizza sauce. But the sauce seems to taste the same, at least from my memory.

Regardless of the changes, I’ll still stare longingly at the Lunchables at Kroger or the C-stores on campus. And occasionally, I’ll buy pizza Lunchables and snack on them for lunch or while writing a stressful paper.

Let’s face it: Sometimes, when you’re in the heat of final papers and end-of-semester stress, your best comfort can come from a nostalgic childhood treat.